Archive for June 4th, 2009

In Chicago, I had the misfortune of going to see one of the all-time worst movies: The Cell. Jennifer Lopez tries to enter the psyche of Vincent D’Onofrio (a serial killer with an apparent set design fetish). It was directed by Tarsem. It was like a gay Silence of the Lambs, but only the scene where Ted Levine tucked his junk between his legs and danced like a lady.

Actually, it was gayer than that. It was gayer than the “Total Eclipse of the Heart” video. It was gayer than Jeffrey.

Anyhoodles, one of the students in my class remembered my ramblings about how miserable The Cell was and, for my birthday, he gifted me a copy of the DVD. I immediately sold it to a record store for $2.00 in credit (they got robbed!).

But that became a running joke for us — we couldn’t wait for the sequel.

I have stopped laughing.

Frank Whaley? For reals?

I honestly think I may go to sleep right now (not because of the trailer, I’m just really beat).

No agenda tomorrow, so I should (finally) be able to wrap up some loose ends (and finish my review of Armond White’s review in last week’s NYP (now with reader responses from this week’s NYP!) of Up.

And for all the Yankees fans out there? We had $100 seats today (yes, that’s EACH) and I have to say that they weren’t $85 better than $15 bleacher seats. If you’re planning on going to the stadium, get bleacher seats and save money for the nachos and the garlic fries. And the Tums.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz