Archive for August, 2009

We’ve had some pretty awesome years, Sony Walkman WM-FX281.

First, I used you to listen to FM radio and cassette tapes. Then, as the few remaining mixtapes I had left that I enjoyed listening to started to warp and unspool (on account of I enjoyed listening to them — and would almost every day), I fell in love with your TV band reception. Without the comical distraction of actually seeing the obese babies, what Maury’s guests had to say took center stage and got my undivided/astonished attention.

I got to decide what the plantiffs and defendants looked like when they went before Judges Judy, Alex, Cristina, Marilyn, Joe (Brown), the one who was on the VH1 show for fat “celebrities” and whoever else I passed the time above ground with.

But today, as I excitedly put on my headphones to listen to The View (a full day of Hot Topics AND Michelle Malkin AND I wouldn’t have to look at ANY OF THEM!), I discovered that I no longer pick up TV stations. When the TV networks went digital, my Walkman became obsolete.

Yeah, yeah, yeah… I hear you all chuckling, “your Walkman became obsolete 11 years ago” but that isn’t true. Ol’ WM-FX281 helped me through a lot of hard times. Carrying 30 pounds of paper products from Target* to the B63 and then switching to the B75 and then walking the rest of the way home is arduous and unpleasant. But if I can listen to a marriage crumble — with insulting commentary from a sassy lady whose decisions are legally binding — it helps immensely.

But no longer.

As I only have one cassette left, I feel it is time to close the book on this medium. Goodbye, cassette of Radio Dinner. Goodbye featureless biddies on The View. Goodbye, guy whose voice-over reminded me that “Judge Cristina takes the law… into her own heart.”

Goodbye, Sony Walkman WM-FX281. May you be welcomed in Electronic Heaven with open cyber-arms.

Sigh.

*that’s a good price for thirty (ten) pounds of Scott/Bounty (nutmeg)!

(from an answering machine message left in 1993 while The Girlie Show Tour played in Puerto Rico)

“It’s hot. And muggy. And everyone’s retarded.”

[and now, some context]

Happy weekend!

This is why I hate Olive Garden.

B’also? HBO seems to finally be cracking down on the folks who upload Real Time onto YouTube every Saturday morning. Maher used to actually praise the folks that do it and encourage it, but I guess HBO disagrees.

Sigh. Hopefully this one will last.