Archive for November, 2009
Spent the day shopping.
Avoid Pathmark always, b’especially on Saturdays. And Sundays. And always.
But rather than have nothing to show for today, here are 2 clips from a TV show in Britain that I had never heard of. Enjoy!
b’also:
G’night!
I’m starting to think that maybe Glenn Beck might have actually [you-know-what] in 1990…
UPPER EAST SNIDE
Snobs bid to boot model who wed the help: suit
Christina Ambers married one of the porters in her building, Angel Rotger, earlier this year (he was told not to date a tenant, they dated in private, the building found out and fired him, he moved in with her and they married). She claims that, as a result, her building is trying to get her (and her husband) to move out — because the tenants don’t like one of their former porters living as a fellow resident. She also claims that the super’s wife hit Angel in his bathing suit area (unprovoked!) with a bag (a bag in the bag!) resulting in “a contusion of the testicle.”
And that’s the front page of today’s paper for some reason.
Gay baby steps.
The New York Court of Appeals has upheld the decision of the state Civil Service Department and Westchester County to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states (this allows same-sex couples to get the same employee benefits that hetero couples get).
It isn’t the legalization of gay marriage in New York, but it’s something.
Gayby steps.
Rudy 9iu11ani is NOT running for governor in 2010, but he might run for the Senate against Kirsten Gillibrand.
“Thenator? I like the thound of that! U. Eth. Thenator 9iu11ani!” Rudy was heard lisping to the cousin he was once married to.
NYU students are fickle stalkers.
Jude Law’s balcony is visible from Hayden Hall (an NYU dorm) and every time he goes outside to do yoga, he gets heckled by NYU students (they sing “Hey Jude” and catcall). He is so annoyed by this that he threw four oranges at the students a few weeks ago, which changed the students’ attitude from (as Erica Rose, 18, put it) “It is exciting to have a celebrity living right next to you. He is really attractive. He’s rugged and scruffy.” to (as freshman Neha Najeeb says) “Now we don’t like Jude Law anymore.”
That’s the spirit! Anyone who isn’t grateful for your heckling must be worthy of your disdain!
Alexandra Kerry, daughter of John Kerry and that scary ketchup lady he’s married to, was pulled over in Hollywood yesterday night for an expired registration. She appeared drunk, so they asked her to take a field-sobriety test (and, because she isn’t an NYPD officer, she said yes). She tested positive.
She took a Breathalyzer test at the station and her blood-alcohol level was below the legal limit.
Which proves that John Kerry made up all that Vietnam stuff.
Oprah Winfrey will walk away from her talk show when her contract expires in 2011. After 25 years, America’s favorite closeted homosexual (sorry Tom and John) will cease production of The Oprah Winfrey Show.
Linda Stasi, who raked Oprah over the coals less than a week ago (“But as the audience-appointed arbiter of good sense in this country, Oprah needs to find yet another doc — one who’s certified to perform taste transplants, because hers seems to have tragically been chewed off by too much fame.”) has penned a stirring tribute for her today.
“This woman was once a 14-year-old pregnant girl whose child died within hours of being born.”
Well said, Linda.
I didn’t want to do this, but it looks like I have to become a fan of Sarah Palin on Facebook. Otherwise, I’ll miss brilliant brain aneurysms like “Imagine that. 11 AP reporters dedicating time and resources to tearing up the book, instead of using the time and resources to ‘fact check’ what’s going on with Sheik Mohammed’s trial, Pelosi’s health-care takeover costs, Hasan’s associations, etc. Amazing.”
You poor victim.
Bill O’Reilly has a piece called Still Gunning for Sarah which erroneously refers to Palin as a “modern politician.” Guess again, Bill. She quit before serving a single term as governor. I’ve spent more time pooping than she has spent as an elected official. And then she published a book that’s basically a bridge-burning fuck you to a healthy chunk of the folks she worked with. She will never serve in any office ever again. Bill also complains about her covrage in the media: “She is being called a whiner and an ingrate, among other things.”
Well, maybe if she stopped whining the media would stop reporting about it.
“A study by the Culture and Media Institute looked at a two-week period during last year’s presidential campaign. During that time, the nightly network newscasts ran 18 negative stories about Palin for every positive story. Fair and balanced? Give me a break.”
1) http://www.cultureandmediainstitute.org/ The three stories at the top of the CMI home page (as I write this) are “Psychology Today Writer: Palin ‘A Very Special Liar’: Left resorts to psychobabble about ‘narcissistic personality’ to bash conservative star and former governor.” and “Huffington Says Glenn Beck Should Be Excluded from Freedom of Speech: Liberal blog co-founder likens popular Fox host’s show to shouting ‘fire in a crowded theater.’” and “Newsweek’s Lisa Miller Labels Passion of the Christ ‘Anti-Semitic’: Magazine ranked Tina Fey’s portrayal of Sarah Palin, the beginning of American Idol, and the death of Michael Jackson ahead of movie on list of Top 10 cultural moments in the last decade.” This site just screams “fair and balanced.”
2) The only news organization stupid enough to claim that they’re “fair and balanced” are the same morons that sign your checks, Bill.
3) Bill goes on to say that “Even though a CBS News poll has her approval rating at just 23%, a whopping 37% of respondents say they’re still undecided about her. That means millions of Americans are potential converts to her populist cause.” Think about that. Less than 1 of every 4 people polled approves of Sarah Palin, but since 37% of the people polled (knowing the total number of people polled would be totes helpful, but that’d probably disprove Bill’s point) say they’re still undecided (how many years and interviews and press conferences do you need before you can form an opinion, you jackasses?), that means that Sarah Palin will be our next president.
4) 23% doesn’t represent a “populist cause.” Go sexually harass a subordinate, Bill.
B’also? There’s an editorial (The AP’s Palin Panic) that joins the semi-retarded quitter in whining about how the AP had the audacity to fact-check her book of bullshit. “AP didn’t send 11 reporters to fact-check President Obama’s two books (it didn’t bother to fact-check them at all).”
Because Obama publishing a memoir in September of 1995 is the same thing as Sarah Palin publishing one in November of 2009. Both deserve equal scrutiny.
This is a horrible newspaper.
Lou Dobbs is considering running for president.
Well, he’s almost guaranteed both of the LaRouche votes.
Reports of groping (on the subway/in the stations) are up 4% this year. The most likely place a woman will be grabbed? Between Grand Central and Union Square on the 4-5-6, especially during rush hour (the judges also would have accepted “on the butt”).
412 people have been arrested so far this year for “bad touching” which is actually 6% less people than last year.
Watch your asses, ladies.
The jury in the Gotti trial told the judge it’s deadlocked.
He asked them to take the weekend to relax and to come back on Monday and try again to reach a verdict.
Will Gotti get a fourth hung jury?
Methinks yes.
The fake pimp and the fake prostitute claim to have hoodwinked yet another ACORN office into helping them set up a human trafficking/underage prostitution ring.
The author of the article? Charles Hurt.
So take it with a 1,700-pound grain of salt.
“They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy.” — Tina Fey
Lynne Stewart is now in prison, serving a 28-month sentence (it may be lengthened, but no decision has been made yet). “You haven’t seen the last of me,” the gross thing said to reporters as she surrendered to the court.
She’s been wrong about a lot in life; I pray she’s also wrong about this.
Cindy Adams says, “It’s Thanksgiving. And if you’re in mid-life, be especially grateful. The good news is, your glass is still half-full. The bad news? Your teeth might be floating in it.”
That’s not mid-life, Cindy. That’s old age. Really really old age.
Get in the box.
Carvett Gentles, the tough-guy 16-year-old who shot Vada Vasquez, wept like a baby in court yesterday. He said that he wished he never shot Vada and that he was only trying to impress his uncle and cousins (Rohan, Clivie and Cleve), who are all members of the Gorilla Bloods.
Yo, man, that’s racist.
Vada remains in a coma. Carvett remains a coward.
Teresa, add Bulgaria to the list.
On her wedding day (to her 19-year-old boyfriend), an 11-year-old Bulgarian went into labor and gave birth.
It’s just like the movie Precious, except Bulgarian.
Last month, 1,200,000 Americans tuned in to watch the Mall Cops: Mall of America special on TLC.
That’s why TLC is making it a weekly series.
Who needs Southland when you have cheap and awful crap like this to watch?
Hey, Michael Starr? The actor’s name is Michael Cerveris. Nor Serveris, Cerveris.
Keep up the mediocre work.
Is it… Friday?
Yes it is!
The weekend starts in mere hours! Hot damn!
Enjoy ya’selves, kids.
PHOTO EXCLUSIVE!
Today’s front page is a full-page photo of Derek Jeter (in a swimsuit!) and Minka Kelly (in a swimsuit!) in St. Bart’s.
The “story” continues on page 2. And page 3. The first three pages of today’s paper are of “Jeter & beach babe in paradise” with a total of six (6) EXCLUSIVE photos and the double-page banner headline JETER HAVING A BEACH BALL.
I guess nothing more exciting happened yesterday than Jeter and his girlfriend going swimming in St. Bart’s.
Pages 4 and 5 are devoted entirely to the story of Vada Vasquez, the 15-year-old who was shot in the head, and the five “people” that have been arrested and charged with the crime. They are: Dwayne Taylor, 23, who was arrested in April 2006 for kicking down his girlfriend’s door and beating her in front of her children; Rohan Francis, 18, who has two sealed juvenile arrests (from 2007 and 2008) and has also been arrested for possession of a loaded handgun (November 2008), criminal trespass (February 2009) and gun and marijuana possession (June 2009); Cleve Smith, 20, who was arrested in June 2007 for selling marijuana to an undercover cop and again in October 2009 for assaulting a police officer; Clivie Smith, 19, who was arrested in March 2007 for firing a gun at another person and at NYPD officers, and again in September 2007 for smoking marijuana in public, and again in April 2008 for selling crack to an undercover cop, and again in June 2009 for beating a woman; and last (and possibly least) we have the alleged shooter of Vada, Carvett Gentles, 16, who had never been arrested before yesterday.
Vada remains in “critical but stable condition in a medically induced coma.”
The mother of Gentles has expressed her condolences to Vasquez’s family, but the mother of Clivie and Cleve insists “my sons did not do this, my babies didn’t do that.” Cleve concurs, telling reporters, “I ain’t do shit. We’re innocent. They’re setting us all up.”
Unfortunately for them, I don’t think these punks are telegenic enough to warrant The Fat Reverend Al’s involvement. Which means they’re all going far, far away.
Wake up soon, Vada.
Page 6? Full-page ad for Macy’s.
Page 7 has a feature on a new study that shows (are you sitting down?) that movie theater food isn’t good for you.
Regal’s large popcorn & soda combo is 1,700 calories, AMC’s is 1,440 calories and Cinemark’s is 1,320.
In fact, says the study, the 1,610 calories in Regal’s medium popcorn/soda combo (there’s only a 90-calorie difference between medium and large?!?) is the equivalent of eating “six scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese, four bacon strips and four sausage links.”
B’also? None of these calorie-counts include the “butter topping” (add at least another 200 calories for that).
They didn’t analyze the popcorn at The Pavilion, though, which I will continue to assume is 100 calories per bucket.
Now I’m on pages 8 and 9 and it’s becoming clear to me that there won’t be an article on THIS. Which is a shame (though the topless pictures of Jeter were hot!). What there is, though, is two pages of BAM’S BIG OOPS ON TERROR.
Tragic kin’s heat on Holder tells of some relatives of 9/11 victims who, while not fans of Holder’s plans to try the bad guys in NYC, went to Washington, DC to attend a Senate hearing and address their concerns to Holder in a calm and rational manner. No swastikas, no pictures of the POTUS with a bone through his nose, no pleas for the tree of liberty to be watered. They spoke to Holder, Holder listened and (even though they didn’t change his mind), they left content. Hmmm. This doesn’t seem like an oops on terror. Let’s try one of the other pieces.
Expert: Bigmouth prez helps defense insists that the decision to hold the trial in NYC has “given defense lawyers ammunition to argue their clients can’t get a fair trial” (bonus points for using “ammunition”). Obama told NBC, “I don’t think it will be offensive at all when he’s convicted and when the death penalty is applied to him.” So, the folks who insist that these people are guilty and don’t deserve a trial are now complaining that they might not get a fair trial. Got it.
Ah! On the opposite page, there’s the story behind Obama’s statement (and the article attached to the banner headline). More importantly, there’s the sentence that follows the quote I posted above: “And then he quickly backtracked, saying he didn’t mean to suggest he was prejudging the self-confessed mass murderer.” It also says that “experienced prosecutors” have assured Obama that “we’ll convict this person with the evidence they’ve got, going through our system.”
Which means that the OOPS that our Bigmouth prez made lasted approximately 5 seconds and that, despite the fear-mongering of people like Shadegg, people who actually know better are comfortable that justice will be done.
But wait! Along comes Charles Hurt with Leaders ‘cower’ amid outrage! He’s still the DC Bureau Chief! And he didn’t read the article on page 6!
“But decorum could not hold yesterday. Not when we are talking about how to execute real, unblinking justice on the animals that plotted the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Tempers flared, people shouted, voices quavered as Attorney General Eric Holder tried explaining to the Senate Judiciary Committee why he decided to hold the terror trial of Khalid Sheik Mohammed in Manhattan. Before unleashing his own withering interrogation of the attorney general, Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.) removed his suit jacket and hung it on the back of his chair.”
Fascinating. He hung it, you say? On the back of his chair? And what of his tie? Was it loosened?
The man who has made it his mission to shit on anything that comes out of the White House reminds readers how fair and balanced he is with my favorite line: “Usually measured and unflappable, the always nerdy Holder became defiant.”
I enjoy showing Charles Hurt the same respect he shows to the Obama administration. That’s why I can say that the always full-of-shit and disingenuous excuse for a journalist deserves to be thrown down the steps from The Exorcist. Repeatedly. After glass has been liberally (see what I did there?) sprinkled on every step.
If it’s Thursday, it must be time for another page of Mandrea.
Lynne’s act should play well in hell [sic] rips into Lynne Stewart and, quite frankly, I agree with the author. Stewart is disgusting (inside and out) and deserves to die in prison.
Protesters too much is a follow-up to her article earlier this week that ridiculed the people who were planning on protesting the Carnegie Hall concert for Autism Speaks (because there are no autistic people on the board of the organization). It’s more of the same (except that the concert has since happened), but it’s weird to read Peyser’s “Give this worthy group a chance.” I didn’t think she was capable of kindness.
Even Lazio beats pathetic Paterson implores Governor Magoo (or, as Mandrea calls him, Governor Pipsqueak) to “hang it up.”
Holy shit! I agree with all three of these pieces and there’s only one left! Luckily, the fourth is a defense of Caribou Barbie.
WHAT THE @#$% DO PALIN’S FOES MEAN? is as unintentionally hilarious as anything Mandrea has ever written. “Sarah Palin (above, with son Trigg) is a joke, right? So why are the Democrats so obsessed with killing her off?”
1) Nice choice of photo. But next time, please indicate who’s who.
2) Yes, she is a joke. The kind of joke that takes someone 10 minutes to tell before they realize that they’ve forgotten the punchline. She’s hateful and vapid. And I understand why Mandrea is a fan.
3) How can someone complain (with a straight albeit mannish face) that Sarah Palin is being unfairly insulted by “lefty nitwit Naomi Wolf”?
Thank you for reminding me why I hate you, Mandrea. You betcha.
The Obama administration has decided that that study which suggests raising the age for mammograms to 50, is bullshit.
Nice.
Carrie Prejean is even stupider than I thought!
According to Page Six (today on page 22), she’s been calling Donald Trump for advice on what she should do now that her “sex tape(s)” are public knowledge.
Nice.
Cindy Adams had a chance to interview Lou Dobbs. Lou told her, “My wife has great instincts. She’s intuitive and knows considerable about business.”
Speak English, Lou! This is America!
The MTA says they will absolutely not raise fares or cut service in 2010.
And really, have they ever lied to us before?
Remember the 911 operator whose typo sent fire trucks to the wrong address, resulting in unnecessary deaths?
A 42-year-old man and his two sons (aged 2 and 1) died in a fire in Crown Heights yesterday because the fire trucks were sent to a location a block away (on Rogers Avenue). They didn’t reach the actual fire until eight minutes after the original 911 call was placed (though an FDNY spokesman insists it was only six minutes).
That’s just awful.
Hey, Teresa! You know why your train was delayed for a few hours today? Because two (2) people were hit by a G train at 7th Avenue. 1010 WINS reports that “One person was pronounced death at the scene, officials said.”
That’s another typo resulting in death.
Oh! Oh! Look on page 30! In-between an ad for the Sands Casino and a story about a 66-year-old woman who got hit in the leg by a stray bullet (on Lenox Avenue and 135th Street), there’s Health boo$t! It says that the health-care plan that Harry Reid unveiled yesterday will cost just $849,000,000,000 over 10 years, which the Post believes will help Reid “find 60 votes to bring the contentious issue to debate. Reid has experienced an embarrassing delay as he put off unveiling the Senate’s version of the health bill to wait for a final number from the Congressional Budget Office.”
I find the fact that this piece (on page 30) doesn’t discuss the details of the plan at all to be even more embarrassing.
Hunter Jason David Cloutier, 31, was out hunting for deer. He saw three of them and killed one, wounded a second one by shooting it in the hand.
Did I say deer? I meant Ferrum College students.
Jessica Goode, 23, is dead and Regis Boudinot, 20, is wounded.
Cloutier was arrested for manslaughter (among other charges). I look forward to hearing the NRA’s defense.
Big Mac-over covers the glamorously remodeled McDonald’s on Sixth Avenue between 14th and 15th Street.
If you’re in the area, stop by. It will help you better understand the phrase “pearls for swine.”
Kate Moss’ advice to aspiring models?
“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”
Nice.
Peter Brookes (senior fellow of the conservative think tank The Heritage Foundation) criticizes the POTUS for not delivering enough from his trip to China. Oh, and he coins (or, at least, this is the first time I’ve seen it) a catchy new phrase. “If you were troubled by President Obama’s ‘Wow Bow’ in Japan, you won’t be any happier with the ‘kowtow’ during his just-concluded trip to the People’s Republic of China.”
Wow Bow.
Nice.
Penises of Hurl (sorry, Ralph Peters) lets us in on What the Generals Won’t Tell the Prez about Afghanistan and Pakistan (AfPak).
“If the devalued buck stops at the president’s desk, it’s also true that the generals involved with AfPak have failed to fulfill their duties to the commander-in-chief.”
Did you catch that? The guy who keeps accusing Obama of dithering is now shifting the blame to the generals who aren’t giving Obama all of the facts. Does this mean he’ll stop blaming Obama?
“This isn’t a defense of Obama, whose vacillation and posturing are appalling. This is a defense of the office of the president: It’s dereliction of duty for generals to stack the deck to get their way. They owe the Oval Office serious analysis, not Christmas lists.”
So… the generals are lying to Obama, but he’s appalling because he’s vacillating (because he can’t get honest answers from his generals).
Spoken like a dick made of puke.
Here’s an editorial that criticizes Obama for backtracking on his statement about Mohammed getting the death penalty (A Needle for KSM). It even refers to the idea that what Obama said might hurt the prosecution as “nonsense.”
The editorial on page 42 refers to the story on page 8 as nonsense.
Nice.
Rocco Pellone of Manhattan writes in to ask (regarding Pummeling Sarah Palin in the 9/16 issue), “In an opinion section that practically bashes President Obama every day, how can Jennifer Rubin whine about Sarah Palin? Most of the country thinks she’s a joke, and, if she is going to promote a book that blames everyone but herself for her lost vice-presidential bid, she should expect some backlash. Are we to feel sorry for her? Give me a break.”
J.R. Cummings (also of Manhattan) offers a counter-argument. “The left calls Palin, who is a patriot and speaks for the heart and soul of America, an airhead and a joke. But look who the Democrats put in the White House — a far-left radical who does everything that’s bad for America in concert with his mob administration and radical czars.”
Sorry, Rocco. J.R. wins. I’d forgotten about the radical czars.
But wait! Michael Chimenti of Oakland Gardens has something to say! “The reason conservatives love Palin is because she is the poster girl for liberal hypocrisy. Palin represents every value which the liberals supposedly espouse. Because they disagree with her policy, which is purely a matter pf political opinion, they have no choice but to attack her personally.”
My God! He’s right! Her values are way liberal! And he’s the winner of the… wait! Here comes Chris Michaels of Morganville, New Jersey! Whattaya say, Chris?
“I bet that the word was put out by the Democrats for the media to put the hit on Palin. Instead, they could be writing whole comic books about the likes of Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton. The liberal media, with all their amateur criticism, are making more and more people aware of who Palin is — and the people like her.”
1) So the Democrats told the media to seduce Palin? Or did you mean that they put a hit OUT on her? If it’s the latter (look it up), then how is it a liberal media? If the media is truly liberal, then they would know to hate Palin. But, I guess they (and their criticism) are so amateur that they need the Democrats to tell them how to react to everything.
2) Whole comic books? You mean the 22-page pamphlets that tell stories through pictures? Yeah… I guess they could write whole comic books about Hillary Clinton. In fact, they did!
And soon, stores will also be selling this little number:
Fun fact: The first Female Force comic book published by Bluewater Comics was…
3) The kind of people who are just now becoming “aware of who Palin is” are functionally retarded (at best).
4) If your entire “platform” is “this is who I am” and “I’m a straight shooter” then YOU are — by definition — making it personal.
Marc K. Siegel explains that ObamaCare will produce more problems like the raising of the age for a mammogram. Which the administration has already said will result in NO changes to the age requirement.
Does it surprise you that Siegel is a “Fox News medical contributor”?
Walmart.com warned its competitors (who freaked out when they started selling the new Stephen King and Dean Koontz novels for just $10) that, “if they react and match our prices, we’re going to continue to lower our prices.”
Until their competitors are bankrupt and they no longer need such cartoonish discounts.
Reader’s Digest will be moving out of its headquarters in Chappaqua and cutting its staff.
[insert joke about condensing here]
Kyle Smith gives New Moon one and a half stars.
All of a sudden, I regret buying my tickets five months in advance.
The Knicks win!!!! The Knicks win!!!! So they’re now 2-9.
As for the Nets, they lost and are now 0-12.
When does baseball season start again?
Oprah’s ratings for Palin’s chat were up 36% over last November’s ratings.
Which is why Oprah announced that every Monday from now on, she will show footage of trainwrecks.
Gordon Ramsay: Cookalong Live will air December 15th at 9:00 p.m.
He will teach you (in real-time) how to prepare a three-course meal of angel hair pasta (with shrimp, chili peppers and tomatoes), Steak Diane with sauteed potatoes and peas, and tiramisu.
If Teresa wants to try this (sans peppers), I’ll happily scream “you donkey” in her face every few minutes.
Goodbye, Thursday. You’re less wonderful than Friday, but you make Tuesday look like Monday in comparison.
I’m also a big fan of her “sticking it to fatcats” policy and her “pro-commonsense” policy. She truly is a breath of fresh air.
B’also? Does that guy know he’s gay?
I just walked in with today’s paper and a cup of extremely hot coffee (I only put in a teeny bit of milk). As I walked through our living room and into the bedroom, I saw a dwarf standing there and I almost dropped my mug.
Turns out it was a shirt that Teresa had hung on her dresser on top of my suit bag (which, if you see it out of the corner of your eye and there’s a shirt on top of it, looks like pantaloons).
A quick blow on my dwarf whistle proved irrevocably that there are no dwarves in my house. Yet.
Three headlines, all with photos, vie for my attention on the front page. The innocent victim of a dirty street war shows a smiling Vada Vasquez, 15, who is now “clinging to life” after being hit in the head with a stray bullet. Is this guy a bank robber? shows Khalid Sheik Mohammed’s mug shot and promises an answer from Michael Goodwin on page 13 (let me guess: No, he isn’t, he’s a terrorist and he should be tried as a terrorist. Did I win, Mike?). But the biggest headline today is JACKO CURSE.
Apparently, Evan Chandler, 65, “endured 17 years of torment after his young son claimed Jacko molested him — and got $20 million to shut up — killed himself with a bullet to the brain in his Jersey City bedroom.” Which proves, according to the Post that “Michael Jackson is haunting people in death.”
In summation: A 15-year-old was accidentally shot in the head, a 65-year-old intentionally shot himself in the head, and Michael Goodwin can’t stop swallowing his foot.
Benjamin Uzomah, Jr., the 25-year-old man who has been accused of stalking Ryan Seacrest, has been ordered to stay at least 100 yards away from him.
Benjamin Uzomah, Sr. must be so proud.
According to a Marist poll, 45% of New York City residents think that trying Khalid Sheik Mohammed and pals here (as criminals, not terrorists) is a good idea. 41% think it’s a bad idea. In a national Washington Post/ABC News poll, 47% of the respondents thought the 9/11 defendants should be tried in the courts, 48% preferred military tribunals (how much you want to bet that at least 35% of that 48% don’t actually know what a military tribunal is?).
But Rasmussen claims that 51% of Americans are AGAINST the 9/11 folks being tried anywhere in the United States (even at a military tribunal?), while only 29% agree with the Obama administration’s decision.
This is why I find it wise to ignore polls.
Lynne Stewart, the misshapen 70-year-old lawyer who helped her terrorist clients communicate with their followers from behind bars, is due to go to prison (she was convicted and sentenced to 28 months in 2006, but appellate judges have been trying to get that sentence lengthened [which, ironically, has prevented her from going to prison], but we still don’t know when.
Prosecutors originally asked for 30 years. When her sentence was handed down, she scoffed, “I can do that standing on my head.”
I say we make her prove it. For at least 28 months.
Rep. John Shadegg (R-Ariz.) has outdone himself.
Rather than hold up someone else’s baby and claim that the baby is opposed to health reform (so classy), he’s now decided to turn his attention toward the 9/11 trial — and he’s letting his own words speak for themselves (but he’s still victimizing other people’s children).
You hear that, Bloomberg? “This is political correctness run amok.”
Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-Queens & Brooklyn) nicely countered Shadegg’s bullshit.
That Shadegg is a bad egg.
More confusing polling!
46% of Americans are FOR the health-care bill passed by the House, 49% are AGAINST it.
But of that 49%, 10% says that they’re against the bill because it isn’t liberal enough.
B’also? 30% of all respondents said the bill is too liberal.
And 26% of all respondents asked the pollster “will I be on the T.V.?” with an emphasis on the “T.”
The 15-year-old who was hit by a stray bullet is the 10th such victim in 2009. Of those 10 cases, only 4 have since been solved.
Good to know that there are politicians (all Republicans, natch) who want to allow (more) mentally unstable people to become gun owners.
Heeeeeeeeere’s Goodwin!
Borrowing a page from Sarah Palin, who loves to use the word “commonsense” despite “havingnone,” Goodwin writes, “Yet the greatest argument against the trials is not legal, financial or logistical. It is the commonsense desire to do everything and anything to prevent another attack on our city. Quite simply, it is unforgivable malpractice for elected officials to support the decision if they believe it raises the risk even a little. As Paterson said, New York is still coming back from 9/11. Could we come back from another attack? We are foolish even to take a chance on finding out.”
1) Not for nuthin’, but if you constantly live in fear of terrorists and change your actions in anticipation of what they may or may not do? They win. A retarded cowboy told me that in 2001.
2) Are you implying that New Yorkers aren’t strong enough to handle another terrorist attack? Well, then, on behalf of all of New York, go fuck yourself you fear-mongering troll. You are foolish even to suggest such a thing.
Lots of doctors are coming out against the 10-year raising of the age to get a mammogram.
Fun fact: Late detection of breast cancer is the third top cause of malpractice litigation in the United States.
Maybe by changing the age to 50, enough women will die that the number of malpractice claims will ultimately lower?
Is Cindy Adams finally starting to understand?
She went to Elton John’s AIDS fundraiser and perceived herself as persona non grata.
“Anderson Cooper was in an elegant navy suit. Asked about Lou Dobbs, he backed off not like I had swine flu, but like I was the Swine.”
“I asked the Food Network’s Sandra Lee is she marrying Andrew Cuomo — and she left me flat. I asked Daniel Craig how he relaxes after those tense scenes on Broadway, and he murmured: ‘Want a quote, I’ll give you a fucking quote’ and said: ‘I drink a lot and take narcotics.’ He, too, then walked away.”
Take the hint(s); get in the box.
Sy Syms, 83, has passed away.
The funeral home handling his burial told reporters that “an educated corpse is our best customer.”
The Chinese Honor Guard is the best of the best of China’s armed forces.
In other Obama-in-Asia news, Dick Cheney told Politico.com, “There is no reason for an American president to bow to anyone.”
Hurry up and die, war criminal.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes named their daughter Suri.
In Japanese, Suri means “pickpocket.”
In Italian, it means “horse mackerel.”
In French, it means “turned sour.”
In English, it means “contractual obligation.”
Michelle Malkin (with nary a sliver of irony) compares Obama to the Chinese government in The President’s Speech Suppressors.
“Obama has a state-media police apparatus the Chinese regime itself could love.”
But who could love you, you lying Doherty-faced joke?
Any Muslims left in our armed forces? Well, Bob McManus’ Soldiers Know might help you reconsider.
“And while Gen. Casey’s plaintive defense of ‘diversity’ may work with the general public, he’s not fooling the folks in the ranks. They know better, because their lives are on the line. And they’re waiting for Strike Three.”
Strike One was Sgt. Hasan Akbar.
Strike Two was Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan.
So, if you are a Muslim in our armed forces, you’re being watched closely by your fellow soldiers. They’re waiting for you to show your true colors because “they know better” than to trust you.
(throws miniature American flag into waste basket)
Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein is offering $500,000,000 ($100,000,000 a year for 5 years) “to provide education, technical aid and capital to 10,000 small businesses” as a mea culpa for their role in the financial crisis. The accompanying photo of the CEO is captioned:
BLANKFEIN
Wears Sachs-cloth.
Why does the Post hate Jews?
Over 14,700 Americans have stepped forward to admit that they have offshore bank accounts.
Score one for the middle class.
The Nets are now 0-11.
Does Brooklyn have to take them?
Bob Saget is returning to TV!
A&E has ordered 7 episodes of Bob Saget’s Strange Days, a reality show that will follow Saget as he interacts with biker gangs and Amish teenagers and fraternities and mail-order brides and I’ve already changed the channel.
Congratulations to Allison Silverman (one of TV’s smartest and funniest writers) on her NYWIFT Muse Award!
I have no idea what that is, but she’s awesome and deserves as many awards as possible.
Aaron Carter owes the IRS over $1,000,000. He hasn’t paid taxes since 2003.
That means that Tom DeLay wasn’t the only criminal competing on Dancing With the Stars this season!
That’s Wednesday for ya. See you tomorrow. Stay classy.
Page 4 is a Macy’s ad (with a $10 Off coupon!).
Pages 10-11 are Macy’s ads.
So is page 12.
Pages 14-15 are Macy’s ads.
So are pages 16-17, 22-23, 24-25, 28-29 and 33.
Fifteen (15) of the first 33 pages in today’s paper are ads for Macy’s.
If you add the full-page Verizon ad on page 20 and the full-page Lord & Taylor ad on page 27, that’s 17 pages out of 33 (or 51.51%) that are ads.
And over two-thirds of the front page is used to announce the latest New York Post sweepstakes: Win one of three polo shirts — custom-made for Bernie Madoff (signal flags and his yacht’s name are embroidered on the front).
This is a horrible, horrible newspaper.
The Hundred Million Dollar Mayor is ordering an across-the-board spending cut of 4% for every city agency in the year 2010 (exceptions: education is losing 1.5% and uniformed forces will lose 2%). For 2011, he’s cutting 8% from every from city agency’s budget (education and uniformed forces will lose 4%).
And, really, this is why we hired him in the first place — the guy is a very successful businessman and he knows how to run New York City as if it were a business. That, and his radiant sexuality.
Proving that it is roughly 5 years behind the curve, the New Oxford American Dictionary has chosen unfriend as the 2009 Word of the Year. You know what two words narrowly lost the title to unfriend (this isn’t a joke)?
Deleb and Tramp stamp.
I have never heard deleb used (it allegedly means “dead celebrity” and I stopped saying “tramp stamp” in college. Over a decade ago.
How cromulent.
Sara Bostwick is suing her wedding photographer for taking photos of her in her underwear (even as she demanded that she stop doing so) and posting them online for the world (and her in-laws) to see.
The photographer, Carolyn Monastra, was rated one of the top ten wedding photographers in the world by American Photo magazine. Yet another reason that you should never ever listen to American Photo (they also really liked Cuba Gooding, Jr. in Radio).
A federal task force has decided that “screening 1,300 women in their 50s to save one life is worth it, but that screening 1,900 women in their 40s to save a life is not.” That’s what Dr. Otis Brawley had to say when he found out that the US Preventive Services Task Force recently concluded that women should wait until they are 50 to get a mammogram and that “breast self-exams do no good and women shouldn’t be taught to do them.”
Not for nuthin’, but socialists don’t have to put up with this shit.
To protest the Sean Bell verdict, City Councilman Charles Barron sat in the middle of Tillary Street until he was arrested for disorderly conduct. A judge just convicted him of the crime, sentencing him to time served (the six hours he spent in jail after his initial arrest). So, Charles, would you like to apologize to the city for wasting our tax dollars for your traffic-causing publicity stunt?
“Charles Hynes [the Brooklyn DA, whose office prosecuted the case] should be ashamed of himself. He should not be allowed to come into any Black church this January 21st and celebrate Martin Luther King Day.”
Oh, Charles. You so crazy/racist.
Andy Cuomo is beating Davey Paterson in the polls. Guess how much. Go on, guess.
59 points.
I think that Cuomo has a decent shot at being our next governor.
And Paterson couldn’t win if discovered the cure for cancer tomorrow.
Sarah Palin was on Oprah and she proved (yet again) that she doesn’t deserve anyone’s attention. She continues to paint herself as a fearless take-no-prisoners independent maverick… who is victimized by everyone around her. It was SNL’s fault, McCain’s fault, Obama’s fault, Katie Couric’s fault (I loved how when Oprah asked her about Katie’s “what newspapers or magazines do you read” question, Palin whined about how she thought the question implied that Katie thought everyone in Alaska was stupid… but she still — even today! — couldn’t name a single newspaper or magazine that she reads).
If you watched it and found Palin to be articulate or honest or humble, then your name is Trig.
What other despicable waste of oxygen wants to blame others for their own character flaws… why, it’s former CNN employee Lou Dobbs!
He told Bill O’Reilly that he was asked by CNN to go away because of:
a) his wince-inducing views of immigration
b) his insistence that our current POTUS might not be an actual citizen of the US
c) his unpleasant voice/face
d) the network’s desire to kiss Obama’s ass
Did you guess a, b or c?
Then you’re wrong. CNN decided to not take sides (MSNBC is too left, Fox is too right, but CNN is middle-of-the-road-tastic!) in the hopes of currying favor with the new administration.
O’Reilly, who is as fair and balanced as they come (on Fox), ended the interview perfectly.
BO’R: “Final queston, Barack Obama, is he the devil?”
LD: “He’s not the devil, but he is certainly a man who is right now not making it easy to understand why he’s making the public-policy choices that he is.”
And then they incredulously wonder why Obama won’t go on their horrible network.
Paterson found out that he’s behind Cuomo by 59 points and decided to jump on the “don’t have the 9/11 trial in NYC” bandwagon. On Friday, he said of the decision to hold the trial here, “that’s a decision that the federal government made, and our job is to help them.” Yesterday, his tune changed to “having those terrorists tried so close to the attack is going to be an encumbrance on all of New Yorkers.”
He also said of the 9/11 attack, “We’re still having trouble getting over it.”
But I’m pretty sure he meant to say “building” instead of “getting.”
Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan frequented a strip club in Killeen, Texas in the days leading up to his rampage. One stripper said of him, “You know, he tipped every girl as she came off the stage after her dance. He was a really good tipper.”
Do radical Islamic terrorists go to strip clubs? And tip well? If only Obama would just jump to a conclusion already!
Robin Wright Penn is now Robin Wright. Please make a note of it.
Anthony Michael Hall has been ordered to stay away from his ex-girlfriend Diana Falzone, who he dated for a year. Diana (who is a “relationship columnist for the Huffington Post”) filed for a restraining order because she says Hall “stalked her and attacked her in her New York apartment.”
Her lawyer told the judge that Hall would call her every damn night and the judge said, “You called her every night? On the telephone?” and Hall said, “On the telephone? What’s he mean ‘on the telephone,’ course it was on the telephone!” And then Bill Paxton turned into a monster.
Page Six (today on page 19) refers to the show that Olivia Wilde co-stars on as “the Fox comedy House.”
Granted, we laugh at least 5 times an episode, but is it really a comedy?
The bad news: A 94-year-old man (Reynold Smith of Albany) was pulled over on Route 17 in Windsor (just east of Binghamton) for driving the wrong way (for several miles).
The good news: He wasn’t drunk or on drugs, he didn’t have children in his car and no one died.
Cindy Adams tells us that St. Martin’s Press will soon be publishing a 320-page book called The Lies of Sarah Palin: The Untold Story Behind Her Relentless Quest for Power by Geoffrey Dunn. Dunn promises to reveal (among many other things) “lots on her extremist ‘End of Days’ religious beliefs” and the “inner circle of DC power brokers, neocons, [and] right-wing Christians who are running her.”
But, unless Dunn includes some word finds and/or stickers, I doubt he’ll get any dissenters to read it, let alone change their minds.
Poor Benito Mussolini.
His previously unpublished diaries are being made into a book called Secret Mussolini. My favorite quote (from August 1938): “I have been a racist since 1921. I don’t know how they can think I’m imitating Hitler.”
Poor Bunny Toes.
True story: Obama’s recent anti-censorship statements (regarding Internet freedom) that he made in China were censored by the Chinese government.
24-year-old Tao Weishuo (who doesn’t want to be killed by the Chinese government) said of the event, “I strongly disagree with what Obama said about the Internet firewall. I think all Chinese people have Internet freedom — we can speak out freely on the Internet about current social affairs.”
Then he leaned into the bug that the government placed on his lapel and added, “But it would be wrong.”
Democrats are floating a new bill in the State Assembly that would “make it a felony to drive while intoxicated when a child under 15 is in the car.”
Isn’t it wonderful that so many people are doing this that we have to make this into a law?
Dennis Rodman had his room in Berlin, Germany comped by the organizers of a basketball game he played in there.
But they didn’t agree to pay for the party he threw in his room. Which is why Rodman was detained by police until he ponied up the money for his $5,100 beverage tab.
Dennis, expect a fruit basket from the Quaids.
At 6:40 p.m. on a Saturday evening in June, Anthony Negron, 32, got into an argument with a man at the 59th Street subway station on the Lexington Avenue line.
So he slashed the man across the neck and stabbed him twice in the side. The man required 70+ stitches.
They caught Anthony on November 10th. His victim IDed him.
Enjoy prison, Anthony!
I just noticed that my pharmacy closed 10 minutes ago. I had to pick up a prescription for Teresa (they only had some of the pills this morning, so they gave me one and I brought it to her at work, figuring I’d get the rest after their delivery came in at 5:00).
I ran as fast as I could to the pharmacy. They were locking up, but since my wife and I are putting their kid through college, they let me in and sold me some pharmaceuticals. I am still breathing heavily.
And now, back to our regularly scheduled snark.
Wayne Corliss used to dress up as Santa Claus for children’s parties. He won’t be doing that anymore.
In May of 2008, a worldwide manhunt led Interpol to Wayne’s apartment in Union City, New Jersey. Wayne will be in prison for up to 20 years now.
Apparently, Wayne liked to go to Thailand to have sex with young boys.
Duh-NUUUUUUUUUH-nuh (HEY!) duh-nuh-na-nuh-na-nuh-NUUUUUUUUUUH-nuh (HEY!)…
Babylon!
Douglas Hopkins used to work at the Babylon Carraige House Restaurant on Long Island (a year ago, give or take). He returned to his former workplace at 11:00 p.m. last Sunday and had a “drunken meltdown.”
He punched a computer, he broke some office equipment and he started a bonfire on the stove with some linen napkins.
So his former boss locked him in the restaurant.
The fire was extinguished and the drunken moron was arrested.
I and I found this funny.
This is sad, but it’s also kind of ridiculous.
Nathan Lagree, 75, was in his Queens home when he heard an explosion. He and his daughter, Patricia, went to the basement to investigate and found the boiler and/or furnace engulfed in flames. Nathan helped Patricia and his wife of 40 years, Betty (who has trouble walking), get to safety. All three of them made it out alive and relatively unscathed.
Then Nathan decided to go back in to get his cell phone. He never came out.
This reminds me of the old joke about the Jewish woman whose son is swept out to sea and she begs God for his return and the boy is deposited safely back on shore by a giant wave and the mother looks up at God and says, “He had a hat.”
Boy, people are really angry that Obama bowed in Japan. I mean really angry.
Robert Whitlock of Danbury, Connecticut writes in to say, “The photo showing President Obama practically falling over while bowing to the Emperor of Japan makes me sick. I suppose his next move will be to apologize for World War II and the attack on Pearl Harbor. Obama is the President of the United States; he should act like it.”
No, Robert, his next move will be to apologize to the world for people like you. You betcha.
Bob Mantz, Jr. of Princeton, New Jersey says, “We’ve already come to the opinion that our current president is an American apologetic who has no idea how to be a tough guy. And then this? A deferential bow? Unless a sumo match followed, his gesture was disgraceful.”
Disgraceful? You use of an adjective as a noun is disgraceful (the word is apologist, dummy). That people are mad because Obama wasn’t enough of a “tough guy” or that he dared to show respect to an ally is disgraceful. If you were made the CEO of an international company whose last CEO told the entire world to go fuck themselves, you’d probably feel the need to show a little deference to the folks outside our borders.
But the truly stupid don’t write letters to the Post — they write for the Post!
Rich Lowry’s STRIKING BACK lovingly defends the precious flower that is Sarah Palin. “The Associated Press unleashed 11 fact checkers on her new book, Going Rogue, for a thoroughly tendentious critical examination.”
Hey, Rich? Most folks who write books? They send out review copies, giving critics and newspeople a chance to read it, do some research on it, make some calls to clear up discrepancies… Sarah Palin, like the producers of Saw VI before her, didn’t want critics to see her book before it went on sale. She knows (even though she didn’t write it) that the sooner people with the ability to tie their shoes get a chance to read her “book,” the sooner they’ll be able to explain why her facts aren’t facts and that the spiteful blame she assigns to everyone whose name isn’t Palin is completely undeserved. The Associated Press assigned 11 people to fact-check it because a) no 1 person should ever have to read that entire “book” and b) with Sarah Palin, you can’t assume anything she says is the truth (she seems to have lied in her “book” about when she knew about her impending grandchild and who else knew — wink!).
There’s more, but I’m tired of people trying to defend this disingenuous idiot against liberal attacks basic questions. That Rush Limbaugh calls this “book” “one of the most substantive policy books I’ve read” lends credibility to my theory that the Limbaughs and Palins and Becks say things like this to flabbergast the opposition, who will never be able to coherently explain why it’s so blatantly false and ridiculous– making them appear weak to the flag-waving who watch them stutter in soundbites on Fox News.
Let’s talk about anything else!
Attention Xbox Live users! If you are one of the estimated 1,000,000 folks using “modified consoles” then you need a new Xbox.
Microsoft just permanently banned you from participating in Xbox Live (try logging on to their site).
In a related story, if you want a used Xbox — but have no interest in Xbox Live — take a gander on eBay and Craigslist. There are a lot of “refurbished” consoles being offered now for a lot less than you’d expect.
(that noise Pac-Man made when he touched a ghost)
Chuck Palahniuk was interviewed about the new 10th-anniversary DVD of Fight Club (he must not have heard what Mandrea Peyser said about him and his short story in Playboy… or that Lou Lumenick called Fight Club “one of the most homoerotic movies I’ve ever seen.”) by Kyle Smith.
In another article (about using certain movies as a test of your compatibility with someone), he says, “I gave up long ago since girls have so many reasons they don’t want to see a cool movie… too foreign, too weird, ‘I don’t like war,’ etc.”
Did you ever consider that maybe it wasn’t the “cool movie” that was the problem, Kyle?
Three freshman football players at the University of Tennessee were arrested last week for the attempted armed robbery of a convenience store near the school. All three students were recruited by the coach, Lane Kiffin.
Kiffin has permanently dismissed two of those players (which makes me think that the third kid must be really good).
B’also? Turns out a fourth player on the team was arrested for shoplifting on November 7th and is due in court on the 23rd of this month.
I’d imagine the Dallas Cowboys are sending their best scouts to Tennessee…
The Buffalo Bills : the NFL :: Job : The Bible
The Bills have fired their head coach (they’re 3-6 for the season — that’s still ongoing). They probably won’t make the playoffs. Their fans continue to be depressed and die of hypothermia. And yet, Bud Adams (the owner of the Tennessee Titans) needed to rub it in more.
Last week, the Titans beat the Bills (in Tennessee) 41-17. While watching the game in his luxury suite and later — as he stood on the field — he gave the Bills and their fans the finger. The NFL has fined him $250,000.
“I do realize that those types of things shouldn’t happen. I need to specifically apologize to the Bills, their fans, our fans and the NFL,” the 86-year-old bird-flipper offered.
Yeah yeah yeah… just write the check.
Allen Iverson played three (3) games with the Memphis Grizzlies this year. His contract has been termintaed.
The Knicks (1-9) are considering hiring him. Which made me feel like posting this:
I know it’s old, but I’ve been singing “How the Hell can I make my teammates better by practice?” all day.
Are the Yankees really thinking about trading Joba for Curtis Granderson?!?
I have to think about this.
Over in the TV section, an anonymous “Post staff writer” has crafted a gem titled ‘TBL’ lives on.
“The Beautiful People, the Mischa Barton series that was canceled after just two episodes, will get a last gasp this summer.”
It goes on to explain that the producers posted on the show’s Facebook page that the CW will air the other 7 episodes in June. I decided that I had to see how many people were “friends” with this show. But I couldn’t find it on Facebook. Can YOU figure out why?
That’s right. The show is (was?) called The Beautiful Life. That’s why the headline calls it TBL. Well done, anonymous!
Anyhoodles, a little e-detective work and voíla.
There’s a fan page with 396 fans.
There’s a group with 600 members, but the page is in French.
There are two other groups for the show — one has 192 members, the other has 44.
Wow. I think tuberculosis has more fans than this show.
In other What’s An Editor? news, Linda Stasi discusses an HBO documentary about the Mumbai massacre of November 2008. “This whole crazy scenario would be totally discounted if it was a story told by eyewitnesses, but in this special, it is instead a story played out in real time via hundreds of cell phones, Tweets and IMs all over the world as it was happening. Goodbye Roshamon, hello real life.”
Close, Linda. It’s Rashomon. Have another drink.
It’s official. Ken Ober is dead. They’re saying heart attack. He was 52.
RIP, Ken.
What’s on TV tonight?
At 8:00 p.m., you can watch the remake of V on WABC, the remake of 90210 on WPIX or the remake of The Prisoner on AMC. If you prefer your remakes to be of the TV-to-film variety, there’s S.W.A.T. on FX and Richie Rich on ABCFAM. On the film-to-TV front, we have Merry Madagascar on NBC.
500 channels and nothing’s on.
I was about to sign off, but I just noticed a movie on the Lifetime Movie Network at 10:00 p.m. It’s called My Baby is Missing (2006) and it was given 1 1/2 stars. It is accompanied by a two-word phrase and I can’t decide if it’s a plot summary or a criticism of the film. The phrase is:
Stillborn tragedy.
G’night, Cleveland!
For those of you that know the show, this is 10 minutes of beautiful memories spanning all 5 incredible seasons (I teared up a little; shut up).
YERP!
For those of you that never watched it, I sorely envy you.
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.
The fuck did I do?
The Equalizer has passed away. Thanks for many years of brilliant acting (me and the Mrs. are particularly fond of The Wicker Man).
The only confirmation of Ken Ober’s death that I could find online (besides people’s status updates on Facebook) is Wikipedia. So, there’s a pretty good chance that Mr. Ober is still alive.
But if not, then thanks for all the comedy you gave to the world (Mind of Mencia notwithstanding).
Three headlines today. Top left is one of the Jets lying on his back, legs raised, one hand on his ass, one on the back of his thigh (headline: Jets hit bottom). Top right is a photo of Oprah removing the chimp-maul lady’s veil with a photo of Mandrea Peyser below — it took me three minutes to figure out that they hadn’t accidentally run the same photo twice (headline: Brave heart). Bottom half of the page is an EXCLUSIVE that warns us that “State Democrats want to impose $1,000,000,000 in new taxes on health-care providers — costs that ultimately be passed on to patients” (headline: THAT’S SICK!).
Howzabout some context: The price of premium rates have gone up across the board from November 2008 to November 2009. GHI raised their HMO rate 30% and their PPO 30%. Aetna raised their HMO rate 20% and their PPO 27%. Empire Blue Cross/Blue Shield raised their HMO rate 39%, but their PPO rate actually dropped 3%. Other providers raised their rates including HIP (HMO +25%, PPO +15%), Oxford (HMO +15%, PPO +16%), Atlantis (HMO +10%, PPO +10%) and HealthNet of NY (HMO +9%, PPO +10%).
So, what this newspaper is doing is trying to get its readers angry at Democrats for having the audacity to consider taxing the companies that, despite record profits, jacked up their prices by as much as 39%. And I could be wrong, but isn’t one of the things that the current reform addresses is a maximum for how much people would have to pay for health care? If so, where does the Post get the balls to imply that the costs will be passed on to patients?
Oh, that’s right. Because they’ve been insisting that the reform will never pass.
Sigh.
The cost to renovate City Hall? $90,000,000.
That’s almost as much as Bloomberg spent mailing me things every other day which I threw out without reading!
He should totally pay for it himself.
There are roughly 1,000 pedicabs in the city. As of Friday, if you don’t have a special license plate, you can’t be a pedicab. As of today, only 321 people have gotten their licenses.
And of them, 23 are competent drivers.
Post looking great at 208 informs us that today is the New York Post’s birthday. But the paper assures us that it isn’t “acting its age.”
“Our headlines are not receding. Our writing is as sharp as ever. If anything, the paper is less gray than it was a few years ago.”
If you say so.
Another EXCLUSIVE! Lou Dobbs quit CNN? Not so much.
In fact, CNN gave him $8,000,000 to go away.
Dobbs says it will take him “weeks, probably months” before he decides what to do next (besides scowl at his Mexican spouse), but he’ll be on The O’Reilly Factor tonight which leads some folks to believe that he’ll wind up as another Fox News Opinutainer.
I think Dobbs belongs on TV — every time I hear him on the radio, I get worried that Kermit the Frog is choking to death on moose semen.
Great photo on page 3 of Suri Cruise holding her Elmo doll in the rain and wearing high heels.
You read that correctly. Katie Holmes dressed her 3-year-old in heels. In the rain.
Katie and Suri are in Boston because Tom Cruise is shooting his new movie there (Knight & Day).
I don’t know what the movie is about, but I think I can make an educated guess: Cruise plays Jim Knight, a closeted homosexual with an infatuation for Doris Day. He drives across the country trying to buy as much Doris Day memorabilia as he can, paying for the trip by having sex with men in rest stops. One day, he meets Carlton Day (John Travolta) who claims to be Doris’ grandson. They have loads of gay sex and head for the Day estate (where Carlton has promised Jim the ultimate collector’s piece — Doris Day’s pelvic bone). Along the way, the man embrace their homosexuality (and each other) and learn that hobbies are nice, but life is more than collecting lobby cards. Joel Schumacher directs (and has gay sex with the cast).
Why does everyone seem surprised that Hillary Clinton responded to what Sarah Palin said in her “book” (“Should Secretary Clinton and I ever sit down over a cup of coffee, I know that we will fundamentally disagree on many issues, but my hat is off to her hard work on the 2008 campaign trail.”) with “Why I absolutely would look forward to having coffee.”? She’s a successful politician (not a hockey mom or a pitbull with lipstick or a quitter or a moron). If she had said, “Why on earth would I want to do that? She’s an idiot.” then people might have thrown tea in the ocean or called her a Nazi or demanded to see her birth certificate.
2012 made $65,000,000 this weekend. That’s more than Disney’s A Christmas Carol had made since it opened 10 days ago.
Plus, 2012 has won just one fewer basketball games this season than the Knicks.
Isn’t it weird that all of the mouth-breathers are blaming the Fort Hood shootings on “political correctness” and not the fact that, despite being investigated for having terrorist ties by the Terrorism Joint Task Force, Hasan was able to buy a gun at a store in Texas — and the FBI never shared that knowledge with, say, its own terrorism unit?
So weird.
Even weirder: This.
Rudy 9iu11ani gets almost a full page to (yet again) insist that Obama loves terrorists, doesn’t care about American citizens’ rights and safety, and something else that I couldn’t understand (I think it was something about suffering succotash).
Rudy also announced that he will be getting a Twitter account.
I so wish he was a Red Sox fan.
Mandrea Peyser’s page is chock full of… words.
SPITZ PUTS THE ICK IN ‘ETHICKS’ (I see what she did there) (re)tells the tale of her trip to Harvard to hear Eliot Spitzer give a talk on ethics. It’s poorly written (!) and includes a sentence that I’ve tried to understand for three solid minutes. If you can translate it, please get in touch with me. “Eliot Spitzer will never run from questions about his past until he faces it.”
(and no, the preceding and following sentences add no context)
Baby collector Jolie at it again tells us that Angelina is adopting a baby from Syria.
Anti-religion zealot Maureen’s new spew draws some of the most hilariously spurious charges against Maureen Dowd that I’ve ever seen. Mandrea insists that (just like her previous “Catholic bashing”) Dowd is now attacking Jews. “…she referred to the profiteering of ‘blood-sucking banks’ — a blatant reference to Adolf Hitler’s and Louis Farrakhan’s favorite coinage, ‘blood-sucking Jews’…” Of course, she’s just sharing what Menachem Rosensaft and Jason Dolinsky wrote in the New Jersey Jewish News. But she obviously agrees with them. The men also kvetch, “She contrasts the ‘cycle of greed and concupiscence’ of what she calls ‘Goldmine Sachs’ (hint hint) with the ‘virtuous’ Protestant Ethic and The Spirit of Calvinism.’”
Who out there thinks of Jews when they hear the adjective “blood-sucking”? Anyone? Me, I think of vampires. But that’s just me. I guess Mandrea has never heard of Twilight or True Blood.
Oh, and referring to Goldman Sachs as Goldmine Sachs is about as anti-Semitic as a knish with too much salt. People loathe Goldman Sachs NOT because they hate Jews, but because they bankrupted thousands of Americans and are now paying out billions in bonuses (after those same Americans helped their company not go out of business). I find Mandrea’s piece on Dowd’s anti-Semitism to be anti-Semitic.
But the major article today (complete with yet another sizeable picture of Charla Nash’s face) is Confronting ugly truth about us. It begins, “Try as we might, we just can’t look away. Her face is our own.” Speak for yourself, ugly. “A ‘freak show!’ critics wailed. A quest for ratings, cynics snarled.” Um… you do realize that you’re talking about your co-workers, right?
She goes on to ridicule Oprah because, when Oprah asked Charla how she eats, she revealed that she can only eat liquids through a straw, Oprah said, “Well, at least it helps you keep your weight down.”
“It was a deeply revealing moment, as Oprah projected her own obsessions about weight and appearance onto Charla’s wounds — a weird attempt to relate to her subject,” screeches Mandrea. Or, you know, an attempt to lighten the mood. Either or.
The best line in the piece, though is this one: “Unlike French face-transplant recipient Isabelle Dinoire, who was stoned when she was mauled by her dog, Charla did nothing to contribute to her maiming.”
Blaming the victim is such fun.
“We are a society completely obsessed with youth and beauty, with Botox and face lifts and the promise of eternal youth. With Twilight and True Blood, and characters who never get old, let alone develop a wrinkle.”
So she has heard of Twilight and True Blood. Huh.
Cindy Adams begins today’s column thusly: “My lot in life is to divine your every need and supply it.”
Really? Then get in the box.
Kehman Clarke, 25, stopped by his ex-girlfriend’s apartment to visit one of her children (I’m assuming the one that he helped make). He and his ex (who is currently pregnant) started to argue. He left. He returned and knocked on the door.
When she opened it, he threw gasoline on her and set her on fire (with a match). Her children were watching.
He turned to leave and slipped in the gasoline, setting himself on fire. She ran to a neighbor who helped douse the flames. She fled to the roof to get away from Kehman. Kehman ran outside and put out the flames on his own body.
Then, when the fire department and ambulances arrived, he pretended that he was an innocent victim and started to get treatment. Thankfully, a neighbor saw this and informed cops that the man on that gurney over there is the guy who started the fire.
The woman was taken to a hospital and is in stable condition. No word on her unborn child.
I propose that we permanently remove “man” from this asshole’s name.
The editorial section is a cavalcade of stupid today.
Dick Morris stops drinking hooker pee long enough to burp that Obama is dropping the ball on investigating how the Fort Hood massacre came to pass (Changing the Subject). “As soon as the killing spree was over, Obama hastened to call it ‘an act of violence’ — obscuring the obvious fact that it was the most serious terror attack on US soil since 9/11.” Yeah, how dare Obama not jump to a conclusion! Why would he insist on gathering facts instead of issuing an immediate decree? It’s not like the mainstream media took a full week before they stopped crediting the wrong person with bringing the shootings to an end, right?
Dicks Made Of Throw-Up (sorry, Ralph Peters) continues his anti-Obama jeremiad (part 497 of infinity), breaking down why almost every Muslim nation in the world is now more terroristy thanks to the POTUS.
“Obama, it seems, just strolls from greatness to greatness. Among world leaders, only North Korea’s Kim Jong-il commands such media adoration from his homies. Not one establishment media outlet will weigh the obvious damage our president’s ludicrous Cairo speech did to the Middle East and to our security.”
1) This is one of the right wing’s favorite lies — that everyone in the media loves Obama. It really isn’t hard to find people complaining about the POTUS. In fact, why not read the paper you write for, dummy? I’d say that the Post is an establishment media outlet, wouldn’t you? And, oh look, they’ve published the ramblings of a jerk who has weighed the obvious damage that Obama’s Cairo speech has done! What are the odds?
2) Comparing Obama to Kim Jong-il was classy.
3) Referring to people who support Obama as his “homies” was even classier (with a side order of racism).
ACORN’s Nutty Suit ridicules ACORN for suing Congress for taking away its federal money. What a shock.
Jennifer Rubin defends Sarah Palin in Pummeling Sarah Palin: Round Two. Jennifer’s arguments are all absurd (she has 1,000,000 Facebook friends! people don’t take her seriously!). And, despite her claim that “much of the claptrap has been debunked,” the facts that Sarah Palin doesn’t believe in evolution, does believe in death panels, lied about the Bridge to Nowhere, and needed someone to write her book for her are irrefutable.
Where’s Charles “The Mission of The Post Is To Destroy Our President” Hurt? Has the DC Bureau Chief been silenced (a least until the lawsuit against the Post dies down)?
Gift horse!
PULSE has a three-page spread of vampiric fashion.
Why do they hate Jews so much?
The Knicks are 1-9.
The Nets are 0-10.
I remain 0-0.
Rosie O’Donnell revealed that her wife moved out of their home two years ago.
Then she ate a ham.
Let’s look in the old E…W. mailbag.
Dear Jed,
I would very much not like to see Sarah Palin as she hawks the “book” she “wrote” on TV this week. What shows should I avoid to make this happen?
Sincerely,
D. Letterman
Dear D.,
Caribou Barbie will appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show today, Good Morning America, World News and Nightline on Tuesday, Good Morning America and The Sean Hannity Show on Wednesday, then she’ll take a day off to complete the Jumble she’s been working on for the last month (fingers crossed!), and finish her tour on Friday on 20/20.
According to the Post, “In a perfect world, she’d said on her Facebook page, that she’d also like to chat with Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Greta Van Susteren.”
But we all know that, in a truly perfect world, Sarah Palin would shut up and go away forever. You betcha.
Dear Jed,
Don’t you have chores to do?
Sincerely,
Teresa
Dear Teresa,
Consider today’s entry finished. Now where’s that vacuum cleaner?
See you tomorrow, kiddies!
First order of business: Justin Batt of Brooklyn wrote in to the Park Slope Courier to complain about the Joanna P. DelBuono. His letter (the only one that addresses the column) is a proofreader’s nightmare (“This costume is asking for trouble. You dnt [sic] think an African American [sic] child or adult would not be sensitive to this? Come on now. I dnt [sic] think you would support some child dressing up as a KKK member… Hitler… Bin Laden”) but it makes a valid point. Joanna responded.
“It is a sad, sad day when a culture can no longer laugh at itself. This boy did not mean any offense to dress up as an iconic figure from a box of pancake syrup, (Aunt Jemima), [sic] in fact I thought he was quite inventive.”
1) Our “culture” is actually many cultures. There is sometimes friction between these sub-cultures, but (for the most part) we try to get along with each other. When someone puts on blackface, they aren’t laughing at themselves. Just like when Jeff Dunham makes fun of every race and religion — EXCEPT HIS OWN — and claims he’s not a racist. Actually, he’s the textbook definition of a racist. It is a sad, sad day when a fat Italian woman can’t see why a White kid in blackface is offensive.
2) If you can find me a box of pancake syrup, Joanna, I’ll give you $5.
She continues, “President Obama wasn’t mentioned in my article at all, however if a teen had dressed up like him it would have also been appropriate, dressing as a historical figure has always been popularly accepted — just think back to masks of past presidents, [sic] George W. Bush, Richard Nixon, and William ‘Bill’ Clinton. Thanks for reading.”
Are you actually that stupid, Jo? You really can’t see the difference between wearing a MASK and rubbing SHOE POLISH on your face and saying “I’m President Obama!” That’s kind of pathetic.
This week’s column is Shootings in Fort Hood, Texas: it must be a duck and Joanna spells Hasan’s name wrong at every opportunity (Joanna doesn’t know about the Google) and finishes with, “Not for nuthin, [sic] but if the military, the FBI or the CIA ever tells me it’s safe to go in the water, I’m heading to the highest, driest land I can find.”
What if they tell you that you shouldn’t drown yourself in a toilet? What would you do then?
YESTERDAY
A postcard of the Twin Towers with “Welcome to New York” written on it is the top half of the front page. Beneath it:
NOW DIE!
9/11 fiends coming here for trial — next stop is hell [sic]
The next 4 pages are wall-to-wall criticism of Obama’s decision for these men to stand trial. The sister of one of the murdered pilots of the plane that went into the Pentagon is quoted as saying, “We have a president who doesn’t know we’re at war.” A New York Post editorial says, “Certainly, the decision represents a return to pre-9/11 sensibilities, when terrorism was seen as a law-enforcement issue, to be fought in the courtroom — not on the battlefield. That approach yielded, among other bloody acts, the attacks on the USS Cole, the World Trade Center, the Pentagon — and, quite frankly, last week’s slaughter at Fort Hood.”
Daniel Pearl’s father is angry about the trial saying, “The 21st century saw three shocks. The first was 9/11. The second was the killing of my son. And the third was the shock today.”
Al Santora, whose firefighter son died in the WTC, writes a piece that begins, “When my wife and I heard the news that the five admitted 9/11 terrorists would be coming to New York to stand trial, I wasn’t surprised that President Obama made that move. This seems to be the track record for this administration, to undo everything that was done by President Bush.”
Rudy 9iu11ani says, “I will believe until the day I die that Sept. 11 was an act of war and not just another criminal act. This confirms my worst expectations for the Obama administration, that they would be in denial with regard to the danger of Islamic terrorism.”
Rep. Peter King (R-Long Island) says, “This is as bad of a decision as any president has ever made.”
For some weird reason, I can’t seem to locate the piece that explains and/or defends the actions of the POTUS. Huh.
They found more water on the moon.
Lou Dobbs is believed to be running for a Senate seat — in New Jersey.
Against New Jersey’s first Hispanic senator. In a state where 20% of its population was born outside of the United States.
Best of luck, Lou!
Zsa Zsa Gabor and her crazy husband, Frederic von Anhalt (who insisted that he fathered Anna Nicole Smith’s child), lost up to $10,000,000 in Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme.
A $118,000 tax lien has just been filed against Zsa Zsa (who’s 92!). Frederic blubbered, “We might be forced to sell our Bel Air home.”
Goodbye, city life!
Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan is paralyzed from his waist down.
Which is a shame, because I know a lot of people who want to kick him in the balls (and have him feel it).
Nicolas Cage’s two homes in New Orleans were auctioned off last week.
I guess he’ll just have to make do with his other 12 houses, his island, his zeppelin, his underground tunnel systems, his submarine, his dinosaur skull and his bio-dome.
Finnish airline Finnair has a new promotion: Frequent fliers can trade 3,180,000 air miles in for… a boob job. 4,640,000 air miles will get you a facelift.
Now that’s what I call thinking outside of the (black) box!
Another reason I’m glad we gave up smoking: Spanish customs officials seized over $1,500,000 worth of fake cigarettes. The smokes looked like regular cigarettes, but instead of tobacco, they were filled with… rabbit droppings.
Do I need to tell you that they were manufactured in China? Well, they were.
GOP chairman Michael Steele has proclaimed that the RNC’s health insurance will no longer cover abortions for its staff.
It will, however, continue to provide Bibles.
A loss for America
Why NYC terror trial is a major mistake
This piece is written by Kris W. Kobach. Hmmmm… why does that name sound familiar?
Oh! He was a White House Fellow and counsel to Attorney General John Ashcroft from 2001-2003!
Which is why I will now skip to the next editorial, ACORN’S LATEST PATHETIC EXCUSE by Michelle Malkin.
Which is why I will now skip to…
… the mailbag.
Edward Giuliano of Hicksville is “appalled” at Oprah’s interview with the chimp-maul lady. “Can you imagine Sean Hannity or Glenn Beck interviewing the lady and exposing her face? This country’s left-wingers would be demanding their heads.”
Well crayoned, Eddie.
Bonnie Giordano of Florham Park, New Jersey starts out strong (“How could you put the picture of the woman without a face on your front page?”), but drops the ball in her second and final sentence (“Why would you choose to sensationalize that when you could have put Sgt. Kimberly Munley’s story on the cover?”).
Maybe because the Post knew her story was false?
T. Dennelly of Sayville fumes, “It is an outrage that Sen. Barbara Boxer has described opponents of abortion as radical. If the truth be known, it is just the reverse.”
I agree. She should have called you “tubular.”
Abercrombie & Fitch reports a 39% drop in profits for their third quarter
Maybe they should turn up the music in their stores…?
OMG! OMG! OMG! The Post has Sex and the City 2 spoilers!!!
*** Carrie and Mr. Big lose everthing in a Ponzi scheme!
*** Mr. Big moves to London and cheats on Carrie!
*** Carrie’s preggers!
*** Kim Cattrall is actually a 65-year-old gay man with fake breasts!
*** Carrie’s gay friend is marrying his lover and Liza Minnelli is singing “All the Single Ladies” at the reception!
*** Because of the financial downturn, the film’s wardrobe will be “less over-the-top but still stylish.”
I made one of those up. But… which one?
Lauren Ambrose (who was amazing on Six Feet Under) will be singing at Joe’s Pub this Sunday night with her band, The Leisure Class.
I have no idea how she’ll sound, but I do know that you’ll have a better time watching that than Pandorum, starring her SFU stalker boyfriend, Ben Foster and Dennis Quaid (if Event Horizon and Doom had a baby and then gave it to a chimp to edit, you’d have Pandorum).
Dennis Quaid’s agent is as crazy as Dennis’ brother and sister-in-law.
The NFL has issued two different $20,000 fines. The first is to the Bears’ Jay Cutler for abusive conduct toward a game official (he thought that interference should have been called during one of his many incomplete passes in the Bears’ 41-21 loss to the Cardinals last Sunday).
Chad Ochocinco also owes the NFL $20,000 because, during an officials’ review of one of his catches, he ran onto the field with a dollar bill. The officials told him to stay away, he did. He didn’t give anyone the dollar, he just held it at his side. And his joke (which you have to admit is funny) will cost him $20,000.
Derek Jeter on Joe Torre: “I still think very highly of him, but I’m kind of used to not having him around now.”
ABC has ordered a pilot. It’s an update of Charlie’s Angels, executive-produced by Drew Barrymore.
Ironically, Aaron Spelling signed a deal with Fox in 1988 to produce the Charlie’s Angels update Angels 88, but it never came to fruition.
Man, I hope they update Models Inc. next!
Linda Stasi reviews a Lifetime movie that she calls Anne Rule’s Everything She Ever Wanted. In the next sentence, she refers to the author of the book it’s based on as “Ann Rule” (she does the same thing in the caption under the photo of Gina Gershon, who stars in it for some reason).
(in Chief Wiggum’s voice) That’s some good reporting, Linda.
(By using the Google, I have deduced that “Ann” is the author’s actual name. So Linda was 66.6% correct!)
TODAY (following the loveliest brunch I’ve had in weeks)
According to the front page, the Jets (4-4) are assuring their fans that the will make the playoffs this year. They played the Jaguars today. And lost.
The Jets (4-5) will almost definitely not make the playoffs this year.
A man called 911 because his wife’s water broke. The 911 operator logged the call as a “water leak.”
The fire department arrived, sans medical equipment, and immediately called an ambulance.
Your tax dollars at work.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! tells us (incredulously!) that former Governor of New Jersey Jim McGreevey is now an assistant to an Episcopal reverend. But they say it in such a pretty way: “The former New Jersey love gov has gone from Turnpike rest stops to the church rostrum as part of his training to become an Episcopal priest…”
Are you gonna write a scathing indictment of the Post for not celebrating religion, Mandrea? Or do you not care about Episcopals?
Where’s the fake outrage at Obama? I’m already on page 5… oh, here we are.
BAM ON A BENDER reveals the shocking truth about Obama’s trip to Japan: He bowed before the Japanese emperor! Can you imagine? That must mean that he’s a socialist! And that he loves Japan more than America!
Oh, I can already hear Glenn Beck’s manufactured outrage…
Page 7 includes a checklist of what security measures are being taken for the 9/11 trial. Which I’m sure terrorists will find very handy.
Michael Goodwin (more like Michael Badwin, am I right?) defends Lou Dobbs (DOBBS MORE CORRECT THAN ‘RIGHT’), ridicules The New York Times for putting a box on the front page that began a nearly 2-page feature about how people like to look out of windows (Times that try men’s souls), and (qu’ell surprise!) rail against Obama (This trial’s an error).
“Take the iconic ‘I Love New York’ poster and plunge a dagger into its heart. That’s what the Obama administration is doing by bringing the mastermind of 9/11 and other terror freaks here for trial.”
Take the kitten in the “Hang in there, baby!” poster and make it drink battery acid and then have sex with its corpse. That’s what Michael Goodwin does every time he sits down at his computer and “writes.”
Page Six (today on page 14) reports that Paris Hilton is angry at the Kardashian sisters for being more famous than her.
That’s hot.
Is Art Garfunkel a jerk?
Last March he was doing a poetry reading at a resort & casino in Verona (stop snickering, Paul Simon). He stopped reading twice because a developmentally disabled person in the front row was making noise (who else would be in the front row of a theater in a casino to hear Art Garfunkel read poetry?). Art pleaded with the audience, “I’m as sympathetic as anyone to the handicapped, but I’m trying to do a show.”
The “troublemaker” was wheeled out of the theater.
More recently, he reportedly threw a hissy fit backstage at the 25th anniversary concert for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame when he asks a staffer for a tissue and was given a paper towel. RadarOnline claims that he threw the paper towel at the staffer and shrieked, “I said a tissue!”
I’m leaning towards jerk.
Cindy Adams’ downward spiral continues. Today she discusses Thanksgiving (I think).
“It’s coming — Thanksgiving, where we all must give thanks. Can’t think up a reason to give thanks? Then, at least be glad you’re not a turkey.”
Get.
“And before you start stuffing your face with holiday treats, be grateful you can still sit in your skintight jeans. As for me, in my skin I can sit. In my jeans, not!”
In.
“Gratitude to: ‘Our Father Which Art in the Ratings’ for the fact that occasionally something’s on that is not reality related.”
The box.
Page 18 as a half-page story about how Sean-Patrick Hillman (whose accompanying photo refers to him as Patrick-Sean Hillman) and Dr. Jonathan Goldenthal love to watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade out of their windows, but can’t now that the route has changed.
No one show this article to Michael Goodwin.
Matchmaking is not an exact science.
Remember Motty Borger, the man who jumped to his death while on his honeymoon? Turns out that the day before he killed himself, he explained to his new wife (who he met through a matchmaker last July) that he had been molested as a child and couldn’t bear to go near his new bride.
“So why did you marry me?” his wife asked.
“You are absolutely right. It was not right of me to get married,” he replied.
What a shandah.
Three homeless men in Moscow killed a 25-year-old man, ate part of his corpse and sold other parts to a kebab restaurant.
In America, people eat kebabs and ignore the homeless. In Russia, homeless eat people and ignore kebabs!
(you get off the stage)
Kyle Smith asks “When will Obama stop lying about the stimulus?” (Con jobs)
I don’t know, Kyle. When will you stop lying about Obama?
Great photo on page 68 of Spike Lee suffering through the Knick’s 9th loss (in their 10th game of the season).
Nice Yankees hat, Spike.
So very tired. See you in the a.m.
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