Archive for February 11th, 2010

Snow bidness.

11th February
2010
written by jed

FEDS SADDLE UP tells the story of the federal investigation into Paterson’s Aqueduct deal currently under way. As well as the investigations into NOAH-F and Larry Seabrook.

Paterson, meanwhile, is attacking The New York Times for their negative portrayal(s) of him.

“I’ve been depicted in a way that’s been racialized, sexualized — hypersexualized — and dissolute.”

Poor “Governor” Paterson.

B’also? “Federal prosecutors have opened an investigation into how the city’s Board of Elections awarded a $50 million contract for electronic voting machines, The Post has learned.”

Is there such a thing as an honest politician anymore? Was there ever?

17 inches.

That’s what parts of NYC got yesterday. Teresa had a snow day (she worked, but from home) and I had my evening rehearsal cancelled, so we spent the evening watching what might be one of the worst movies ever made (if you ever see the DVD of iMurders, smash it to pieces and run away — if I had known that my friend’s role was two lines of dialogue and 5 seconds of screen time, I would have never gotten beyond the first 10 minutes). Even crappy movies are fun to watch with Teresa, though. She makes me to laugh.

The next four days are supposed to be snow-free, though. So… yay for that.

Illinois got hit by a 3.8 earthquake yesterday.

Some of my friends in Chiacgo felt it, as did people in parts of Iowa and Michigan.

Apocalypto is less than three years away!

Hiram Monserrate is going to court today (it was closed yesterday) to try and get a restraining order against the Senate, which would prevent them from expelling him from the Senate.

Good luck with that, Hiram.

In a survey of matrimonial lawyers, 81% say they’ve seen a spike in the use of “social-networking information as evidence of infidelity.”

Meaning people are finding out about affairs by looking at their spouses’ Facebook, MySpace and/or Twitter accounts.

We are a nation of idiots.

Holy shit!

The Village Paper Party Store on West 10th Street in Greenwich Village was completely destroyed by a fire yesterday morning.

I used to go to All-You-Can-Eat Sushi Night at the Japanese place next door at least once a month when I lived in the neighborhood. And I once bought fake poo and a birthday card there.

Rest in peace, Village Paper Party Store.

John Mayer has apologized for using the word “nigger” in his recent Playboy interview.

He did not apologize, however, for equating his penis to a White supremacist (in explaining why he doesn’t date Black women) and for saying Jessica Simpson “is like crack cocaine to me… Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.”

Also, please come see my new improv team “Napalm, Sexual Napalm” at the Magnet tonight!

John Edwards proposed to Rielle Hunter.

Awwwww. That’s so romantic.

Unless you know who they are.

Fun fact: Rielle Hunter also had an affair with Jeff Goldblum — and made him believe her child was his!

Oh, Page Six (today on page 19), you’re the greatest.

Scientists have mapped the DNA of a man who lived in Greenland 4,000 years ago.

Which is weird, because I didn’t think the world was that old.

Mandrea!

She tears into Tiger Woods (in two separate pieces — 12-SHTUP FRAUDS [David Letterman is also a victim here] and Does Tiger still got that swing?) for claiming sex addiction is a legitimate malady; Michelle Obama (Fat is in the fire for Michelle) for her “bipolar bid to make your kids thin”; Janet Napolitano “who only just added the word ‘terrorist’ to her vocabulary” (O’s terror team in the twilight zone) and, most appropriately, Valentine’s Day (Valentine’s gives me a ♥ attack).

“So turned off am I to the commercially canned words of love that pop out of every store, bodega and boutique around Valentine’s Day, my husband is more likely to get a fight than a hug. But if he, for one moment, fails to bring me my slippers and a martini, he’s a dead man.”

So… you hate the holiday for being fake, but demand that your (poor, poor) husband observe the fake sentiment of the holiday? By constantly bringing you slippers and martinis? You man-faced doofus?

Stairs.

New York Post editorials are generally awful, but Talk to the Hand is worse than I expected.

“Say one thing for White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs: The hypocrite’s got chutzpah. Too bad he’s so dumb.”

“Gibbs is a guy who works for a fellow who can’t order breakfast without the assistance of a TelePrompter.”

Boy, they sure zinged Gibbs and that colored fella.

I wonder if they’ll ever do an editorial about the Saudi prince who owns 7% of News Corp. You know, Prince Alwaleed bin Talal? The guy who gave $25,000 to each of the families of the 9/11 hijackers? Yeah, he owns 7% of Fox News.

Prolly not. Which is hypocritical chutzpah at its finest.

Nice article on page 43 about how “Investigative reporter Gerald Posner and Tina Web site Brown’s The Daily Beast have parted ways” (can you find the error that the chimpanzee editors missed?).

Fun fact: Johnny Damon turned down a 2-year/$14,000,000 contract from the Yankees. He (and his asshole agent) insisted that he was worth more. Now the Atlanta Braves have offered Damon a one-year contract. Damon wants two.

Is Johnny Damon becoming Mike Piazza 2.0?

In other former Yankee news, the Nationals and the Dodgers are the lead contenders for Chien-Ming Wang.

And in former basketball team news, The Quest For Five Wins continues as the Nets lost (by 20 points!) to Milwaukee last night. They are now 4-48 (7.7%).

Wow. They might get 50 losses before they get 5 wins.

Page 77 has four photos illustrating Rex Ryan’s removal of a hockey jersey, which resulted in people seeing his grotesquely enormous belly.

Thanks, Post.

And now I must away, as I am supposed to have lunch with a Mr. Kulhan, a Mr. Ranson and a Mrs. Mason.

Stay warm and I’ll see yez all tomorrow.

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