Archive for February 13th, 2010

Death by Luge.

13th February
2010
written by jed

The full-cover photo of Nodar Kumaritashvili’s fatal impact against a pillar on the luge course (DEATH RIDE) has an odd caption: “The shocking death raised fears about an ‘unsafe’ course.”

Um… doesn’t the fact that someone was brutally killed while luging on the Olympic course kind of make it ‘unsafe’ by definition? What are the fears? That what just happened will happen?

If you need more photos of what killed him, pages 4 and 5 have one of him luging, the same photo from the cover, and two more photos of the impact (taken split sceonds later), as well as the ambulance driving away.

This is a very classy newspaper.

St. Vincent’s Hospital has fired 320 employees (10% of its staff).

It begins…

Kim Basinger’s father defends his daughter against Alec Baldwin’s assertions that she’s trying to turn their daughter against him (Kim dad: Alec is so off-base).

Ireland was a great choice for the kid’s name — she will forever have a war raging on her home front.

Someone fatally shot at least five sea lions in Seattle, including one which was endangered (he sure was!).

I bet it was the guy in Seattle who isn’t a hippie.

You’ve come a long way from “Math is hard,” baby.

Barbie’s 125th and 126th occupations were voted on by “the public” (methinks the majority of them were morbidly obese women in Disney sweatchirts) and the winning professions were Computer Engineer and News Anchor.

Ken remains “just some guy.”

An MTA pickup truck (with a raised snowplow hitch) “hit and critically injured a 70-year-old woman” at 4:00 p.m. yesterday at 23rd Street and Second Avenue. She was crossing the street.

In the MTA’s defense, this is the nicest thing they’ve done for New York’s elderly community in the last year.

I think this is a trap.

The airport in Manchester, England has a special offer for male passengers that want to propose to their loved ones, but don’t want to reveal their hidden engagement rings when being screened: Private pre-flight security screenings performed out of the sight of their partners.

“All a traveler has to do is whisper ‘be my Valentine’ to security and he’ll be whisked aside.”

I hope someone tries this in America.

That dead body that was found in the wheel well of a Delta Air Lines plane in Tokyo? He’d been there for almost two months.

Feeling safer? Me, too.

Three-quarters (75%) of the country say they support openly gay people serving in the military.

Or, as the GOP refers to them, “a small group of radicals who think that President TelePrompter is the Messiah 2.0.”

Michelle Malkin? Again? What did I do to deserve this?

“We are not supposed to speak ill of the dead,” is the opening sentence of The Ugly Truth About Jack Murtha. And like many other opening sentences (“I’m not a racist” and “I don’t want to get off on a rant here” immediately come to mind), it is followed by a loooooong contradiction of its sole sentiment.

“…unrepentant smear merchant…” “…corruptocrat…” “…embodied everything that is wrong with Washington…”

So Murtha was behind the GOP promising to filibuster everything in Congress just to make the Democrats look like they aren’t accomplishing anything? What a dick!

It’s a Trap: Jump In is Jonah Goldberg’s latest attempt to out-stupid himself, this time by discussing Obama’s invitation to the GOP to discuss health-care reform in a public dialogue (he does so with flying colors).

“The worst you can say is that it’s a cynical trap, designed to make the GOP look out of touch, ill-informed and ideological.”

If the shoe fits…

“Obama is going to say, ‘nice doggie’ to Republicans right up until the moment he smashes them with a rolled-up 2,000-page health-care bill.”

Which he wouldn’t have to do if the GOP would just stop shitting all over the carpet.

Goldberg also derisively refers to Obama as “Obama the law professor.”

I love how smart is the new stupid.

Frank Thomas (The Big Hurt) is retiring from baseball.

I wonder of he’d be interested in playing for the Nets…

Todd Haynes will direct Kate Winslet as the titular lead in HBO’s 5-hour mini-series adaptation of Mildred Pierce.

Starting March 2nd, TNT will air the remaining six (6) new episodes of Southland. Based on the viewership the episodes get, the show will either be put to sleep or picked up for more.

Please please please watch Southland. Please.

Please.

Real Time with Bill Maher isn’t back yet (that’s next Friday!), but it was nice to see Bill on The Sarah Silverman Program. And it wil be nice to see his new stand-up special (which airs tonight at 10:00 on HBO).

I was planning on a nice, quiet day inside with my wife, but I just found out that one of the guys on Dog Court decided to hop onto the subway tracks to retrieve his bag and was hit by a train (he’s OK, though). So, I’m off to visit him in the hospital.

Maybe I can convince him to sue the MTA…

Have a lovely Saturday and, please, stay off the tracks.

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