It’s brutal out and Teresa is working from home. But she somehow managed to trudge around the corner to Pierre’s and snagged a copy of the Post for me. She a totes keeper.

Two prominent politicians of color adorn today’s front page. A sidebar announces House ethics panel slams Rangel (and the accompanying photo is hardly a flattering one — is Rangel doing a Charlie Chaplin impression?). He will receive a “public admonishment” for accepting “corporate-sponsored junkets” to the Caribbean. And nothing else.

The other man on the cover is “Governor” Paterson. TIME TO GO, DAVE includes an excerpt of the POST EDITORIAL on page 32. What caused this sudden epiphany of he-gotta-go-now? “Abusegate.”

Pages 4, 5, 6 and 7 (but not Page Six, which is on page 14 today) are devoted to explaining how the head of Paterson’s security detail personally tried to dissuade single mother Sherr-una Booker from persuing legal protection from her boyfriend (and Paterson aide), David Johnson (she claims he “violently assaulted” her).

Michael Goodwin’s Pack your dirty tricks & get the hell out is calm, level-headed and even-handed. “Thanks for nothing, gov. Good-bye and good riddance.” And it ends with “Damn you, David Paterson.” Classy.

---

NYC Transit chief Tom Prendergast: “Whether the 2010 service reductions will strand riders, in some instances, they will. In some instances, we had no choice but to do that.”

Me: “You are a lying war criminal.”

---

Did Jerry Seinfeld use an expired police placard to park illegally during a taping of The Marriage Ref? And if so, will this be the most entertaining thing about The Marriage Ref?

---

A legless man “managed to plant a crude explosive device at the 125th Street Metro-North train station yesterday.” The device is described as a “pyrotechnic with shotgun shells taped to it.”

This is not a complaint, but where are the semi-competent terrorists?

---

I watched a sizeable chunk of yesterday’s health-care summit and, with the exception of Obama referring repeatedly to OB/GYNs as “Obi-Guy-Knees,“ I thought he did a fairly good job. Granted, I think little was accomplished and most politicians stuck to their talking points and press releases, but it was a nice effort regardless. Churlie Hurt disagrees.

Sound the snooze alarm over peevish prez refers to Obama as “the professor-in-chief” (I love that meme!) and is brimming with Hurt’s usual smarmy condescension. Hooray.

Sadly, Hurt co-authored the main article on the summit, too, so DC health-clubbing maintians his cartoonishly partisan voice (though, thankfully, without his smug headshot).

---

A tree branch fell and killed Elmaz Qyra, 46, as he walked through Central Park yesterday at 3:25 p.m.

We need to cut down all of those trees.

---

Apparently, the information we’ve gotten from Najibullah Zazi is leading to more charges against more terror suspects.

Good thing this is buried on page 20!

---

V. Redd Kancharia, the president of that concrete-testing company that was found to not really be testing the concrete at places like Yankee Stadium and Ground Zero (while deeming them safe), tried to kill himself by slitting his wrists and taking “several sleeping pills” two days after he and his company were convicted of racketeering. His attorney says Kancharia “has recovered.”

Can he do anything right?

---

One judge told Joe Bruno he can’t have a new trial.

One judge told Ozzy Osbourne that he can sue Tony Iommi.

The Roosevelt Island tram will be shut down for 6 months (which is usually 27 months in actual time).

The F train is about to get a whole lot crowdeder.

---

Jonah Goldberg declares yesterday’s health-care summit A (Boring) Win for the GOP.

He also refers to reconciliation as an “arcane parliamentary procedure,” which I’m sure is what he called it when the Republicans used reconciliation to enact three major tax cuts.

How do people like Jonah stop themselves from killing themselves? And why?

---

MOVIE REVIEWS!

Armond White refers to Tracy Morgan’s performance in Cop Out as “coon show antics.”

Lou Lumenick gives The Yellow Handkerchief three and a half stars (“A small gem.”) and one and a half stars to Cop Out (“No arrest for the dreary”).

Kyle Smith gives two and a half stars to Easier With Practice (“lightly endearing”) and The Art of the Steal (“engrossing if overheated”) and one and a half stars to The Crazies (“All heartland but no brain”).

Despite the lack of Asian nudity, V.A. Musetto gives A Prophet three and a half stars (“Jailhouse sock.”) and three stars to Prodigal Sons (a documentary about the grandson of Orson Welles and Rita Hayworth and his sister who used to be his brother).

Pete Hammond remains in absentia.

---

Just saw a photo of Jorge Posada autographing a bat for Yogi Berra.

I can’t wait for baseball season to start!

---

‘Boner’ found dead in Canada by Michael Starr.

Classy, Mike. Let me translate from Asshole to English: Andrew Koenig committed suicide and his body was discovered by friends searching for him. Many years agom he played a charcter named “Boner” on Growing Pains. He was a friend of many of my friends. He will be missed.

---

NBC is having trouble finding an actress to headline their revamp of the Prime Suspect franchise.

GOOD.

---

Linda Stasi gives MTV’s Turn the Beat Around no stars and says it might be the worst original TV movie of the decade.

Which I think means she really liked it.

---

New episodes of The Ricky Gervais Show and Real Time with Bill Maher?

Plus two feet of snow?

It’s Christmas Happy Holidays all over again!