Archive for March 16th, 2010

EXCLUSIVE FIRST PHOTO

ELIN & TIGER

TOGETHER!

Photo and story Page 7

Today’s front page is a full-page photograph of Tiger Woods and his wife (with the above superimposed). The photo that appears on page 7 is a slightly smaller version of the exact same photo. Actually, that’s a lie. In the photo on page 7, Elin’s head is slightly raised and Tiger’s right arm is down. The Post insists that the people in these photos are “looking every bit like a couple trying to piece together their shattered marriage,” whereas I just see two people going for a walk on their property. I guess I lack the intuitiveness (intuitivity?) of the Post.

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WINSLET GIVING HUBBY FINAL CUT tells us that actress Kate Winslet and director Sam Mendes are separating (while simultaneously proving that the Post doesn’t know what giving a director final cut means).

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Rep. Gregory Meeks did, in fact, show up for his interview at NY1 (Meeks passes the bucks on scandal).

“I was not in charge of administering the funds. It was a community organization.”

“When community people come and say they want to do good things and they want me to lend my name to it, that’s exactly what I would do…”

“It was never set up for me to oversee. I’m a member of Congress!”

“I, like you, want to know where the money is.”

The Democrats are like the Catholic church. Until the powers that be stand up and demand that their own members obey the law(s) — and, if they don’t, they’ll face serious disciplinary action — then the party as a whole will appear crooked. A good place to start cleaning house (besides Espada, Rangel, Massa and many others) is with Meeks (and Smith).

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Toyota believes that the man in San Diego who claims he spent 20 minutes uncontrollably speeding in his Prius, is lying. They claim that their diagnostic examination turned up no evidence of brake failure and that, had he stepped on the gas and brakes simultaneously, the engine would have turned off. The man (James Sikes, 61) is described by the Post as a “heavily-in-debt owner of a swingers’ club.”

Is this a case of a company desperately trying to save what little face they have left? Or is this a case of someone trying to cash in on a company’s misfortune by lying?

Stay tuned!

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At 7:10 a.m. on Saturday (10:10 a.m. EST), Virgin America Flight 404 left LAX. It was supposed to arrive at JFK at 3:30 p.m. But it was windy, so it was diverted to Stewart Airport in Newburgh where it landed at 5:15 p.m.

It stayed on the tarmac — with all of its passengers — until midnight. Then buses arrived to take them to JFK. Thanks to Daylight Savings Time, they arrived at JFK at 3:00 a.m.

I think this is all just Virgin promoting their new ad campaign (“Sweaty, Slightly Painful, Cramped Space. Virgin.”).

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Joseph Spiekerman, 43, was an NYPD housing-bureau sergeant. Yesterday he pleaded guilty to driving drunk into a 68-year-old pedestrian last year (Barry Gintel suffered two broken legs, a broken neck and injuries to his spleen and head). Spiekerman lost his job and the pension he had accrued during his 15 years on the force. He also has to pay Gintel $15,000 (for medical bills), do 500 hours of community service and spend “two months’ worth of weekends in jail.”

Does that mean 60 days or 8 days of jailtime in two-day chunks? Or 8 days of jailtime in a row? Either way, doesn’t that seem like a pornographically light sentence?

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Michael Jackson’s estate has signed a contract (valued at between $200,000,000 and $250,000,000) with Sony.

In exchange for up to a quarter of a billion dollars, Sony will release 10 albums over the next seven years that “would feature previously unreleased songs and repackaged versions of existing ones.”

Now LaToya can finally get that sandwich she’s always had her eye on!

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Page Six (today on page 12) reports that Ashley Dupre has an eight-page spread (no pun intended) in the May issue of Playboy. Hey, remember when she told the Post that she wasn’t going to pose for Playboy? That makes her a lying whore! Congratulations, Ash!

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Cindy Adams claims that Carrie Fisher co-wrote the screenplays for Lethal Weapon 3, Sister Act and So I Married An Axe Murderer. Interesting.

She also claims that Penelope Cruz’s sister is a professional flameco dancer, Kim Basinger collects inflatable ducks, and the Aborigine word for boomerang is Kylie. Uninteresting.

Box.

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He Pingping, the world’s shortest man (29 inches) has passed on. He was 21.

There will be a small service for him sometime this week.

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Rielle Hunter called Barbara Walters to complain about the “repulsive” photos of her that GQ was publishing. The ones that Hunter posed for (RIELLE CRYIN’ ABOUT SEXY PIX).

“When I asked, ‘Well if that was the case, then why did you pose the way you did?’ [Hunter] said that she trusted the photographer, Mark Seliger, who she described as ‘brilliant,’” said Baba Wawa. “All I did was go with the flow,” Hunter insisted.

Look at the bright side, Rielle! At least John Edwards will never ever cheat on you.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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The estimated amount of damage done to the five boroughs during that storm the other day?

“Well over $25,000,000,” according to Mayor Bloomberg.

There are still 55,000 people in Westchester without power (including my folks who just emptied their refrigerator) and Con Ed says they hope to get 95% of their power back on line by Thursday.

(crosses fingers but doesn’t hold breath)

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A company in California is selling lipstick “that shows when a woman is in the mood [for sex].”

“Its color changes from clear to deep crimson when she’s feeling frisky.”

Each $18 tube also comes with a color chart so that men can figure out how horny its wearer is.

We continue to become Japan.

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Is Alfredo Aceves (1-0, 0.90 ERA in three games) going to be the fifth starter for the Yankees this season?

Better him than the 0-1, 3.86 ERA in two games Phil Hughes or the 0-2, 27.00 ERA in two games Joba Chamberlain.

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Larry David told the audience at the Paley Center that “there’s a pretty good chance” that Curb Your Enthusiasm would return for an eighth season. He did not follow it with “prit-ty, prit-ty, prit-ty good” but he did say “we’re working on a couple of things.”

(crosses fingers but doesn’t hold breath)

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Guess! Stasi’s! Stars!

How many stars (out of four) did Linda Stasi give Justified? Here’s how the review starts: “In order to fall in love with FX’s new macho-man show, Justified, it helps to be a man. It also helps to be a man who grew up on anti-hero westerns and Elmore Leonard’s books. If you fall into any of the above categories — I clearly do not — you can’t help but fall for Justified.” Other snippets include: “Like every TV series and Hallmark movie ever made, Olyphant’s character finds himself back in the town he grew up in!” and “a true male fantasy show complete with broads, bad guys, blow-ups, bullets and buckets of blood.”

Her rating?

Three stars.

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The TV section does truly outstanding work in the field of reporting.

Today, they announce that Paula Abdul will host a new version of Star Search. Then they provide recent backstory.

“Abdul had reportedly been wooed earlier this year by ABC to appear on American Idol.”

You know who owns the New York Post? Fox. You know who owns (and airs) American Idol? Fox.

To be fair, though, if I ran ABC (or NBC or CBS), I would’ve tried to get Paula back on AI just so she would stop setting up meetings at my network.

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And that’s Tuesday. Try to have a nice day.