Archive for March 18th, 2010

Never Mind The Bullocks.

18th March
2010
written by jed

Poor Sandra Bullock (BLIND SIDED). Shortly after winning her Academy Award for Best Actress, she has moved out of the home she shares with her husband Jesse James. Why? Because it looks like he had an 11-month affair with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee while Sandy was filming The Blind Side. And just who is Michelle “Bombshell” McGee?

Michelle Bombshell McGee

Hence the clever follow-up headline, TAT’S SO SAD FOR SCORNED SANDRA.

Had Sandra Bullock not written a glowing letter to a judge, Jesse James might not have custod of the children Sandy has been raising with him. Which makes the fact that he fooled around with a woman with “Pray for us Sinners” tattooed on her forehead even more pathetic — if it’s true.

The idea that Mr. James might not be content with Miss Congeniality isn’t hard to imagine, but the idea that some penniless woman covered in tattoos might be making this up for the publicity and money it would generate is equally plausible.

So. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens in the next few days (I have a feeling the Post will cover it extensively).

Fun facts: McGee grew up Amish and her Twitter handle is Evilcunt.

“Governor” Paterson’s press secretary (Marissa Shorenstein) has resigned (LAST ONE OUT, TURN OFF THE LIGHT). She had also been acting as Paterson’s communications director, because Peter Kauffmann resigned from that position on March 3rd.

I’m amazed that even a legally blind person could be so blind to what’s going on around him.

Democratic Suffolk County Executive Steve Levy has decided to enter the gubernatorial race. As a Republican.

Good luck with that, Steve.

The Post points out that Best Actress Oscar winners are unlucky in love (Oscar love curse). Sandra Bullock may be headed for divorce. Last year’s winner (Kate Winslet) is, too. 2006’s winner (Reese Witherspoon) filed for divorce less than a year after her victory. Theron, Berry, Roberts, Swank, Paltrow… all broke up with their significant others shortly after winning.

Luckily they all have their award to keep them company…

Italian police have caught a suspected hit man.

By following his Facebook account.

Jed Resnik likes this.

Reports are coming in that Bernie Madoff continues to be assaulted in prison.

Good.

Now Toyota is accusing the Prius driver in Harrison of lying about her acceleration problem.

Is Toyota lying or are these people?

Either way, I hate the MTA.

If you were in the Wal-Mart in Washington Township, New Jersey on Sunday evening (and really, where else would you be on a Sunday night in Washington Township, New Jersey?), you might have heard a man make this announcement over the store’s public-address system:

“Attention Wal-Mart customers: All Black people leave the store now!”

Management has already incorporated it into their new ad campaign, “Save money. Live better. All Black people leave the store now.”

Mandrea!

New Jersey mom has huge ambition tells the tale of Donna Simpson, a 600-pound lady in New Jersey who is trying to become the World’s Fattest Woman™ by reaching 1,000 pounds over the next two years.

“Why have I devoted precious inches to this freak with feet? Donna is a living, wheezing cautionary tale for women who think fat is sexy, and a poor role model for, well, anyone.”

First Kyle Smith, now Mandrea Peyser. Why does the Post hate fat people so much? I mean, yes, Donna Simpson is insane, but is she really indicative of a trend?

THE TRAMPY TRUTH attacks Rielle Hunter. “John Edwards’ baby mama is royally steamed that whorish photos for which she posed in GQ — without the benefits of pants or a working brain — are too trampy.”

The photos aren’t whorish. Trampy, yes, but not whorish. You know what is whorish, though? Ashley Dupre.

“Kid Rock — for some reason — says that ‘If Eminem and I were gay lovers, I doubt I’d be the one on top.’ I don’t know what that means. I just want to print it.”

I’ll explain it to you, Cindy Adams. Kid Rock means that he would insert his penis into Eminem’s tushy, but — even if he were a homosexual — he wouldn’t let Eminem do that to him. Got it? Good.

Remember Brian Schroeder, 26? He’s the Harvard Law School graduate that set fire to a 9/11 memorial last November. He just pleaded not guilty. On what grounds? He was “profoundly intoxicated.”

Good luck with that, Brian.

Jim Cramer’s Web site (TheStreet.com) is being investigated by the SEC on charges of fraud.

I find that mad funny.

Is Blockbuster filing for bankruptcy? It looks that way.

Good. I’ll never forgive them for cutting the steamy Drew Barrymore/Tom Skerritt sex scenes out of the copy of Poison Ivy I rented in high school. They forced me to concentrate on the story!

The Ho family is selling their stake in the Borgata casino. And what’s the Post’s headline for this story? NO HO’S IN THE BORGATA.

It works on so many levels!

The Nets lost again last night. Now they’re 7-61 (10.3%).

Keep up the horrible work, guys!

Joba has lowered his ERA to 16.20. That’s still kind of awful, but whatevs. He gave up two hits, one earned run, one walk and three strikeouts in three innings.

Damaso Marte took a Ryan Howard line drive in the back yesterday.

Hurry up, Opening Day.

The weekend begins in less than 28 hours.

Strength, peeps.

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