Archive for March 23rd, 2010

Thanks a lot, Michelle McGee.

23rd March
2010
written by jed

The nice lady who set up this site (and continues to tinker with it and make it the well-oiled machine it is) just sent me an explanation as to why I’m getting hundreds of additional hits lately: Michelle “Bombshell” McGee.

I thought that I might have finally broken through into the mainstream, that word of mouth had spread and that people were visiting my Web site to read my trenchant insight into the world at large. But it turns out they just wanted to read about the tattooed lady who slept with Sandra Bullock’s husband.

Sigh.

But I don’t get enough traffic that I can look a gift horse in the mouth. Therefore, here’s an update about Ms. McGee’s relationship with Angry White Girl (a subsidiary of Angry White Boy).

JACKO DOC IS MR. HIDE (doesn’t “DOC OF JACKO IS MR. HIDE” scan better?) alleges that Dr. Conrad Murray stopped performing CPR on a dying Michael Jackson — and held off calling 911 — so that he could collect the various “vials of prescription drugs” littering Jackson’s bedroom and hide them. Murray is currently charged with involuntary manslaughter in the death of Jackson.

I wonder if any of the lesser Jacksons (I’m looking at you, LaToya) will sue Murray in civil court.

E-he.

As much as I hate the MTA, I bet the folks that live at 1821-1829 and 1873 Second Avenue hate them more.

That’s because, thanks to the “construction” of the Second Avenue subway line (which is now supposed to be finished in 2015 — but ask again tomorrow for a different answer), the residents in 28 apartments at the aforementioned addresses are being “temporarily” evicted from their homes. These aren’t the first relocations and they won’t be the last.

Fun fact: The MTA pays the rent on all of the apartments that they kick people out of AND the rent at the hotels they move them to. Isn’t that nice of them?

The police in Harrison have ruled that the driver of the Prius that allegedly uncontrollably accelerated is full of shit.

They have concluded that the brake was never applied in any capacity — that Gloria Rosel put her foot on the gas and went into a wall of her own volition.

Oops.

Alicia Guastafarro is suing Wife Swap (and ABC/Disney) for $100,000,000 for “intentionally ruin[ing] her life by making her look like a spoiled brat.” I found the episode on YouTube. Here’s Part One (note the spelling of her last name — nice job, Post!).

Alicia claims that the show’s producers told her to say and do things that were scripted and not real (on reality TV?!?!).

Personally? I don’t think she has a case. Or a healthy self-image.

“Senate Republicans were girding for battle yesterday as they plotted new strategies to try to take down President Obama’s health plan, repeal it, or tie it up in legal knots.”

I guess it beats doing something constructive.

In a related story, Rep. Randy Neugebauer (R – Texas) said that he has apologized to Rep. Bart Stupak (D – Michigan) for calling him “baby killer” while he spoke during the health-care “debate” on Sunday.

(waves miniature American flag, but really sarcastic-like)

Lady Gaga is now also being sued by her ex-bassist (and “Disco Heaven” co-writer), Tommy Kafafian. He claims that she has never paid him anything for any of his work.

Who’s next?

The EPA is tightening drinking-water standards.

Socialism!

Are Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush breaking up?

Even though he promised to propose to her if the Saints won the Super Bowl and they did but he didn’t?

Even though she’s one of the vapidest human beings in the world?

Even though he’s been flirting with women who aren’t Kim?

Wait… what was the question again?

Dr. Dennis Friedman believes that hiring a nanny or au pair to care for your young son will make him grow up to be a womanizer.

See, he’ll respect and love his mother (“Woman 1″) and marry a “Woman 1″ but will seek out a “Woman 2″ for sexual gratification.

Tiger Woods has already started insisting that that’s why he cheated on his wife all of those times with all of those women.

God, I love Argentina.

“In response to runaway inflation,” the government has “dispatched a fleet of mobile fishmongers, selling cheap haddock in poor Buenos Aires neighborhoods.”

If the trucks were full of lomo, Teresa and I would be packing our bags right now.

George Giftos of Boca Raton, Florida writes in say, “With liberal-left Democrats in control of the presidency, Senate and House, I now know what it feels like to be living under an occupation force.”

I say we move George and his family to Iraq.

Good news: The Bird and the Bee have a new album out.

Bad news: With the exception of the opening track, the entire album is Hall & Oates covers (Interpreting the Masters, Volume 1: A Tribute to Daryl Hall and John Oates).

The Nets lost last night by 10 points (7-63). They are now at 10.0% exactly.

Keep it up, stinkies!

Phil Hughes is the current front-runner for the fifth slot in the Yankees’ rotation.

But ask again tomorrow for a different answer.

The weather stinks. It’s cold and wet and dark.

Socialism!

(stay warm and dry, m’peeps)

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