Archive for March 24th, 2010

You Expected More From Biden?

24th March
2010
written by jed

Today’s EXCLUSIVE cover story is GOV’T BUY THE PEOPLE, which claims that state Senator Jeff Klein (D – Bronx/Westchester) wrote a letter to “union bosses” in which he offered them “chairmanships on a newly-created Labor Advisory Council” — for just $50,000 a pop. “General membership” costs $25,000 (if you don’t want to be a chairman).

If this is true, it’s shameful. But let’s not kid ourselves into thinking that Jeff Klein is the first or only politician to do something like this. Personally, I think the stuff that happens (and is still happening) on C Street is a lot worse than this. But that’s just me.

Also on the front page is Veep Bleep Joe F-bombs health care bill-signing. Yes, crazy ol’ Joe Biden introduced Obama at the health-care bill-signing and then whispered to him (in front of microphones), “This is a big fucking deal.”

It’s fun to watch all of the folks on the right feign shock. Was it inappropriate? Sure. Was it more inappropriate for George Bush to call a reporter “a major-league asshole”? I think so. One is a poor choice of words, the other is an insult. But, then, Obama is destroying our country by making it Socialist.

And speaking of the Teabagging Right Wing, Rush Limbaugh’s response to the signing of the bill?

“We need to defeat these bastards. We need to wipe them out.”

When does he move to Costa Rica? And does he need help packing his pills?

A townhouse on the Upper West Side just sold for $20,000,000.

Socialism!

Adam Clayton Powell IV can do no wrong!

In May of 2003, he was accused of sexually assaulting a 19-year-old intern, but no charges were filed.

In July of 2003, he was accused of raping a woman he met at a fundraiser, but those charges were dropped.

In March of 2008, he was arrested for drunk driving. He took a Breathalyzer and blew a barely-legal 0.07 (cops say he turned his head to the side as he blew, which lowers the results) and, though he faces a year in prison if convicted, he should get away with this, too.

Fun fact: He was born Adam Clayton Powell Diago, but changed his name in 1980, despite the fact that his brother (Adam Clayton Powell III) already had a son named Adam Clayton Powell IV.

Bimbo eruption No. 16 rocks ‘tamed’ Tiger? Really? It rocks him? At this point, his wife is taking the kids  out of the country and will probably seek a divorce based on the sexts that were leaked. But the Post thinks that the fact that there were 16 mistresses and not 14 (this new one, Devon James, claims it was a threeway) is some kind of big story. It isn’t. But it is something for Mandrea to kvetch about in her next column.

“A group of Ninja-style crooks staged a daring Fifth Avenue smash-and-grab in Midtown early yesterday.”

Um… Ninja don’t smash-and-grab. You’re thinking of Golems.

Iggy Pop will no longer stage dive and you can thank the Carnegie Hall audience at last month’s show for that.

When he jumped into that crowd, they moved away and let him fall on his face.

But who wouldn’t want to catch a sweaty, shirtless 62-year-old in leather pants?

Michael Goodwin is an asshole.

“Truth delayed is truth denied. Or at least truth denied until yesterday, when the fig leaf of “health-care refirm” was shredded. Finally exposed was the Holy Grail of the ruthless quest. It was so our Narcissist-In-Chief could claim another notch on history’s belt.”

I’m assuming that the first notch was being the first Uppity Negro to become POTUS.

He goes on (a lot), insisting that — despite the fact that more people in this country are happy with the reform now that it has been signed and they have had a chance to look it over — “It is not the change Americans want.”

Unless you actually listen to them. In which case, it is.

Aren’t celebrity divorces fun?

Dennis Hopper is claiming that his wife (who he is currently divorcing) stole valuable artworks from him and he is demanding them back. She says they’re hers.

Hopper is expected to attend the dedication of his Walk of Fame Star in Hollywood on Friday. His wife, Victoria Duffy said she wouldn’t be there, which is good since he has a restraining order out against her.

Cindy Adams continues her death spiral.

“Everyone’s bleating about Tiger Woods’ return and what do we think? I don’t think anything. I don’t think about him at all.”

And then she talks about Tiger Woods for three extremely long paragraphs, ending with “He’s the world’s greatest golfer. He’s scum.”

I wonder what she’d have to say if she thought about him at all.

Arrests of people with celebrity names but aren’t the actual celebrities!

Lee Evans has been arrested for burning five teenagers to death in New Jersey in 1978!

Julio Iglesias, 19, shot another 19-year-old and was arrested!

Dame Edna Everage, 23, broke into an apartment and stole a computer!

(I made that last one up)

Al Sharpton’s ex-wife and daughter will have their misdemeanor charges (which include obstructing governmental administration, resisting arrest, harassment and disorderly conduct) dropped if they can avoid being arrested in the next six months.

Boooooooooooooooo.

There are currently 16 investigatons underway at the SEC focusing on employees there that spent “up to 1 1/2 hours a day veiwing online smut and kiddie porn.”

Why go after Bernie Madoff when you can sit in your office and spank it to “fetishisland.com” and “ladyboyx.com”?

Chris Lisi, 20, of Middletown, New Jersey is my new hero.

He attended Monday’s Nets game at the Meadowlands wearing a brown paper bag over his head. He was approached by Nets CEO Brett Yormark. “He asked why I had the bag on, and I was sarcastic that the Nets were so good. Then he said something he shouldn’t have.”

Lisi insists that he only wore the bag during time-outs and not when the game was in progress.

Even so, Chris, well done.

Yormark has since invited Lisi back as his guest. Which is classy, sure, but his team still stinks hard.

The Nets play Sacramento tonight. Will they be 7-64 or 8-63?

(crosses fingers)

Looks like Phil Hughes will officially be named the Yankees’ fifth starter any day now. Which puts Chamberlain, Aceves and Mitre in the bullpen with Rivera, Robertson, Marte and Park. Wow.

Chad Gaudin was put on wavers yesterday. So long, Chad.

Curtis Granderson (and not Brett Gardner) will be the Yankees’ center fielder this season. But I have a feeling that might change in a few months…

Sarah Palin’s Alaska is expected to air on Discovery. The show has a $1,200,000-per-episode price tag.

I wonder how much of that goes to the shrill quitter.

I thought that sounded weird.

“Correction: A photo caption in the TV section yesterday mistakenly stated that some students from Oprah Winfrey’s school in South Africa were going to testify against her in an upcoming defamation trial. In fact, the students were scheduled to testify in favor of the talk show host.”

No apology, Post?

Southland remains the best drama on television. If you’d like to see the best comedy, tune in to Modern Family tonight at 9:00 on ABC.

Happy Wednesday!

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