Archive for August 27th, 2010

I Need Mad Sleep, Yo.

27th August
2010
written by jed

Today’s cover story (PANTS ON FIRE: ‘Lying’ gov may face rap on Yankee tix) features a photo of “Governor” Paterson with a nose like Pinocchio (the Post loves Photoshop). Apparently, Independent Counsel Judith Kaye has concluded that Paterson was “inaccurate and misleading” when he testified (under oath) about the free Yankee tickets he asked for (and got). Kaye has passed her 41-page report on her findings onto Albany County District Attorney David Soares, and Soares might press criminal charges against Paterson as a result.

It’s a longshot, but Paterson could conceivably go to prison for this. Espada, Monserrate and Rangel will all remain free men, but the governor might not. Justice is blind (just like Paterson!).

Capitol One has announced the sale of all of Cipriani’s inventory (from the furniture to the fixtures to their recipes) to pay off their $4,000,000 debt to the bank. The restaurant still hasn’t paid back the $10,000,000 they owe for tax evasion, but they insist that none of their restaurants are going anywhere.

Man, if I worked there, I’d be so confused that I’d probably wind up pushing a stranger in front of an oncoming train.

Too soon?

Page Six (today on page 10) informs us that Hayden Panettiere was recently in Ann Arbor, Michigan with David Arquette. And why were they there? Because they’re making a movie: Scream 4.

Looks like Wes Craven has run out of idea.

Rep. Bobby Bright (D – Alabama) isn’t.

While talking to a group of his constituents, he said that he might not vote for Nancy Pelosi to be speaker next year because she “might lose her own election, decide not to run for the speaker’s job or otherwise not be available,” according to the Montgomery Advertiser. When The Washington Post called the man who reported this to get clarification on the last part of Bright’s remarks, the reporter gave them his exact quote, “Heck, she might even get sick and die.”

And so might Bobby Bright.

Jimmy Carter successfully negotiated the release of Aijalon Gomes, 31, from a North Korean prison. Gomes had been there since January after beng found guilty of crossing the North Korean border from China. He was supposed to serve eight years of hard labor and pay a fine of $600,000. Carter requested amnesty and Kim Jong Il granted it.

Worst American President my ass.

American Airlines has been fined $24,000,000 for “chafed electrical wires that caused it to cancel thousands of flights in 2008.”

Good thing they’ve started adding hefty fees for baggage, food, drinks, blankets, pillows, movies, sitting in the first few rows of coach… the only thing you still get for free on their flights is the use of the bathroom.

For now.

It’s been a long day. If I had more time and energy, I’d explain why the editorials by John Podhoretz (BLAMING AMERICA: What liberals love about Imam Rauf) and Bill O’Reilly (Left’s Bogus Race Ploy on Mosque) are grotesque misrepresentations. But I’m just too tired. And anyway, someone else at the Post will just regurgitate their talking points tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that.

According to TechCrunch.com, Mark Zuckerberg is trying to trademark the word “face.”

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MOVIE REVIEWS!

Kyle Smith gives two and a half stars to The Last Exorcism (“Boo bayou.”), and two stars to Centurion (“a film that begs to be classified in the historical/epic category, or maybe the allegorical/self-important file, but actually belongs in the lawnmover/weedwhacker class”).

Lou Lumenick gives two and a half stars to both Flipped (“interesting enough that you wish it were better”) and Takers (“a pulse-pounding footchase and some terrific stunt work [offset] its hackneyed plot and dialogue”).

V.A. Musetto gives two and a half stars to Mesrine (violence, sex), three stars to The Milk of Sorrow (mature themes — “some viewers might be turned off by the sexual themes,” but V.A. sure wasn’t!), two stars to Change of Plans (mature themes) and one and a half stars to Highwater (nothing objectionable).

Lee Bailey of EURweb.com (I looked it up — it’s Bailey’s own site and it stands for Electronic Urban Report) calls Takers “this generation’s Heat.”

Jen Yamato of Movies.com calls Lottery Ticket “Friday for a new generation.”

Doesn’t this generation know how to rent movies?

Albert Pujols (pronounced “POO-holes”) hit his 300th home run last night, making him the third-youngest player to do so (Ken Griffey Jr. did it at 30 and A-Rod did it when he was 29).

Hooray for Pujols!

The Boston Red Sox are 73-55. So are the Minnesota Twins, putting them at the top of the AL Central (by 3 1/2 games). The AL West is led by the Texas Rangers who are 72-55. But Boston is in the AL East, so their record puts them in third behind the Yankees and Rays by 5 1/2 games. But Boston is starting a series against Tampa tonight, so these standings might look a lot different in a few days.

Burnett takes the mound tonight against the White Sox. He is currently 9-11. Never forget.

Bristol Palin has joined the cast of this season’s Dancing With the Stars.

How long do you think it will take “The Situation” to get her pregnant?

Tomorrow night is Let’s Have A Ball. The following night is Friends with a Benefit.

There is still time to get tickets for both shows, but I implore you to support the latter. It’s a great show (co-produced by my wife) with a great cast for a great cause (the American Bird Conservancy). Tickets are still available here.

And that will do it for this week. Enjoy your weekend!

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