You gotta love the MTA. (presses finger to ear) Wait… I’m being told that that’s incorrect… apparently, you don’t have to love the MTA. In fact… by their (in)actions… you are encouraged to hate the MTA.

Please make a note of it.

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Today’s cover (not counting the sidebar of a grunting blonde playing tennis [Hot stuff at Open]) is devoted to PEACE, HAMAS STYLE: Terror fiends kill 4 Israelis on the eve of DC talks. President Obama gave a televised speech last night, but you won’t read about that until page 8 (and 9).  But pages 6 and 7 are devoted to Hamas thugs slay 4 to show what they think of peace talks. The Post has always been blatantly pro-Israel (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but I still felt that today’s cover story was an odd choice… until I turned to page 2.

70% of NYers demand: Move the GZ mosque! features a handy inset (Park it elsewhere) that lists some percentages. Highlights include:

* 71% of New Yorkers say Ground Zero mosque organizers should voluntarily build it elsewhere (JEDITOR’S NOTE: Is it 70% or 71%, Post?)

* 72% of New York Republicans say the mosque should not be built at Ground Zero (JEDITOR’S NOTE: It isn’t being built at Ground Zero, stupid Post!)

* 54% agree “freedom of religion” gives Muslims the legal right to build the mosque

* 40% disagree (JEDITOR’S NOTE: Wow. It would appear that a healthy portion of the folks that accuse Obama of destroying the Constitution have no idea what it says.)

And the photo it contains? A woman holding up a giant sign that reads MOSQUE SUPPORTS HAMAS. Which is about as factually accurate as VATICAN SUPPORTS CHILD RAPE. But it works beautifully in concert with today’s cover story.

Another fair and balanced edition of America’s worst newspaper.

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Speaking of which, the coverage of Obama’s speech is titled IRAQ WAR OVER, SAYS SOMBER O: Salutes our heroic GIs — & even Bush. Obama saluted Bush? Well, not really. But he did say that “no one could doubt [his] support for our troops, or his love of country and commitment to our security.” Which is a kind of a salute, I guess.

Do you have anything non-constructive and unnecessarily partisan to add, House GOP leader John Boehner? “Over the past several months, we’ve often heard about ending the war in Iraq but not much about winning the war in Iraq.” Excellent.

And what about you, Charles Hurt? Anything ridiculous to offer? “Speaking in prime time, Obama made a mockery of his — and his party’s — longstanding opposition to this war in Iraq.” That’s nice, but can you combine the Roman name of a Greek god with a made-up word to insult the president? “The Herculean flip-floppery Obama performed in the Oval Office spells bad news for embattled Democrats running for re-election.” And that’s why you’re the Post’s DC Bureau Chief.

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Carla Bruni has expressed her solidarity to (with?) the Iranian woman who has been sentenced to be stoned to death for adultery. The Iranian newspaper Kayhan doesn’t like that. They recently responded with, “Studying Carla Bruni’s record clearly shows the reason why this immoral woman is backing an Iranian woman who has been condemned to death for committing adultery and being [an] accomplice in her husband’s murder and, in fact, she herself deserves to die.” They also called Bruni a “prostitute.”

France is demanding that someone do something about this.

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Scientists have discovered “tiny crustaceans that are nearly invisible to the naked eye” (called “copepods”) in New York’s water supply.

Memo to self: Buy Brita stock.

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Tom Magill, 22, jumped off the roof of the West End Towers on West End Avenue at 63rd Street and fell 40 stories onto a Dodge Charger. He suffered “a broken leg, a shattered ankle and a shattered lung,” but is expected to pull through. The photo of Magill that the Post includes is of him dressed as Peter Pan.

Oof.

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Rachel Uchitel (who the Post put on their 9/14/01 cover) is the subject of Michael Starr’s piece on page 17 (TIGER MISTRESS IN SEPT. 11 TV EXPLOIT). I’m so proud of Michael! They let him write an actual article! Let’s see how he did!

“The nerve! Serial celebrity suck-up and former Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel, whose fiancé died in the Twin Towers on 9/11, visited Ground Zero last week to shoot scenes for her upcoming appearance on VH1’s Celebrity Rehab. Uchitel, 35, found a modicum of fame in the immediate aftermath of 9/11 when a photo — showing her weeping and holding a flier asking for information on her fiancé, Andy O’Grady — was splashed on the cover of The Post with the headline, ‘New York’s Tragic Face.’ Uchitel yesterday told The Post that she couldn’t understand how some people might interpret her recent visit to Ground Zero as distasteful and self-promoting. ‘Who the f–k are people to be talking about me?’ Uchitel said. ‘Until they go through what I went through, living with a guy and being engaged to him and having that person dead an hour after waking up next to him . . . Nobody can fuck with me about 9/11.’ Uchitel said she visited the site to ‘get closure on some stuff I’ve been dealing with . . . and I don’t know why people would take that the wrong way.’”

I don’t know how people would get that idea either, Rachel. Although the headline of this article might offer a hint.

Fun Fact: Michael still writes The Starr Report, but it no longer appears in print. It is, however, available on nypost.com for some reason.

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Caroline Giuliani’s punishment for shoplifting? One day of community service.

“A knowledgeable source said she’ll do her community service for the Sanitation Department, where she’ll likely clean toilets and mop floors at the agency’s garage on Pier 36.”

“Prosecutor Anne Siegel told the judge the deal was a typical one for a first-time, low-level offender.”

My favorite part of the article: “Giuliani arrived at court sporting some ink on her right foot that said, ‘inhale exhale’ on one side and ‘breathe’ on the other.” A handy reminder, sure, but not easily read in a graceful manner.

When asked for a comment, her father said, “9/11, America’s Mayor, 9/11.”

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Hadley Jons, of Warren, Michigan was serving on a jury when she posted “gonna be fun to tell the defendant they’re guilty” on Facebook. Hadley was removed from the jury and now faces a contempt charge.

Jed Resnik likes this.

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BP is running that same full-page Economic Investment and Environmental Restoration ad on page 23. You know, the one with the photo of the old man and the female BP employee staring at the (off-panel) ground?

I guess they really are fixing everything — making it even better than it was before! I think I’ll buy some stock.

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Darius McCollum, 45, has been arrested for stealing a New Jersey bus and taking it for a joyride to Kennedy Airport. This is his 27th arrest for doing something like this (we should have seen it coming — the rule of three times three times threes). But this time, he’s being investigated by the NYPD-FBI Joint Terrorism Task Force. Why? “Because he was bizarrely carrying a Koran, a prayer blanket and federal emergency-response manuals when he was busted.”

I imagine that he was carrying these things in a bindle made of ham that was balanced on his knee. Or in a similarly bizarre fashion.

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John Podhoretz’s OBAMA’S IRAQ SPEECH: BARACK THE NEOCON explains that (according to last night’s speech) the POTUS is actually a neoconservative. A neoconservative Muslim socialist? Now I’ve heard everything!

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John Owens, of Garden City, writes in to say that, “Having attended the ‘Restoring Honor’ rally, I was pleased to see people from different religions, races and political backgrounds standing united as Americans.”

Fellow attendee Larry Hotaling, of Brooklyn, agrees. “[Beck's] message resonates with all races. Content of character was the message at Beck’s rally, but color of skin was the underlying message of the Al Sharpton counter-rally.”

But Herb Stark, of Massapequa, is angry at everyone. “I’m sick and tired of the phony patriotism exhibited by the likes of Sharpton, Beck, Palin and others as they stage their equally phony rallies in our nation’s capital.”

Oh, mailbag. You’re terrific.

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Jonah Goldberg’s NOTHING TO FEAR: The inclusiveness of ‘Restoring Honor’ would be hilarious if it weren’t so repugnant. “Because the rally explicitly and studiously avoided trumpeting a political agenda, it freed up a lot of people to fill in the blanks themselves. For instance, The Washington Post’s Greg Sargent insists it was all a con: ‘As high-minded as that may sound, the real point of stressing the rally’s apolitical goals was political.’ By leaving the listener to infer an anti-Obama agenda from all of this talk of lost honor, host Glenn Beck was practicing ‘classic political demagoguery.’

Let me get this straight: If Beck had done the opposite, and invited hundreds of thousands of anti-Obama signs, and carved up President Obama like a turkey dinner, folks like Sargent would think the rally was less demagogic? Hmm.”

Having Sarah Palin as one of your headliners makes it political. Period. And would the rally be more or less demagogic if the attendees brought their anti-Obama signs? It’s a trick question. Just because people left their homemade misspelled Obama-with-a-Hitler-moustache signs at home doesn’t make them any less ignorant or hateful. They did it because their Mormon buddy told them to. But, man, that Greg Sargent is an idiot for thinking that. Right, Jonah?

“Obviously, Sargent’s not entirely wrong about the rally’s political resonance.” Buh? “But the partisan implications of the rally aren’t that interesting. Nor is the argument that the relentless celebration of Martin Luther King Jr. amounted to some grave insult to his memory.” Are you fucking kidding me? You can’t celebrate Dr. King’s memory by screaming for the end of the social programs he fought for. Only a complete and utter moron would make that argument.

“If Beck wasn’t a libertarian, I’d find his populism worrisome. But his message, flaws and excesses notwithstanding, is that our constitutional heritage defines us as a people, regardless of race, religion or creed. Is that so insulting to Dr. King’s memory?” Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your moron.

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Crude oil is down to $71.92/barrel.

Buy! Buy! Buy!

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Teresa and I were at La Guardia Airport recently and were forced to spend almost $20 on a couple of egg sandwiches and coffee (it was that or bags of candy). But LA GUARDIA AIR FARE FLAIR assures us that more options have finally arrived! For example, Bisoux is now open and serves a $14 bowl of French onion soup (I doubt it’s as good as Le P’tit Paris’ soup, which costs $5 a bowl). You can also get a $42 New York strip steak at Prime Tavern or a $5 slice of pizza at Tagliare.

Next time we fly out of LGA? Bags of candy.

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MOVIE REVIEW!

Lou Lumenick gives three stars to My Dog Tulip (“don’t take the kids unless you want to give them some fairly explicit lessons about canine mating and excretory habits”). Why isn’t there a comma after “Dog”? Is the movie about a tulip made out of dogs?

Kyle Smith gives The American one star (“Duller than a Belgian”). Just as Roger Ebert loves all movies made in Chicago, Kyle Smith hates all movies starring George Clooney. It’s science fact.

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Tampa Bay lost to Toronto last night (15-5) and the Yankees beat Oakland 9-3. Which means… we’re in first! By ourselves!

A.J. Burnett (9-12) is looking for his 10th win tonight. And if he doesn’t get it, he may lose his spot in the rotation. In five August starts, he was 0-4 with a 7.80 ERA. In June, his ERA was 11.35. His contract is worth $82,500,000.

Oof.

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Plaxico Burress filed a second application for early release from prison (he’s been there for 11 months). And for the second time, his appeal was denied. He’ll be there until (at least) June 2011.

Poor Plaxico Burress.

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Hey, Linda Stasi! Would you be so kind as to judge a TV show without having seen it because it hasn’t been made yet?

“Showtime is adding Shameless, starring Joan Cusack, to its lineup of comedic diseases. She plays an agoraphobic mother of a sexually promiscuous teenage daughter. The agoraphobe has a ’special friendship’ with William H. Macy, a drunken father of six who passes out every night. I’m laughing already!”

I tried watching the award-winning British series that the Showtime series is based on and I didn’t care for it. But I would gladly watch William H. Macy make soup or alphabetize his CDs, so count me in for the remake.

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Snooki has turned down her abusive boyfriend’s marriage proposal.

Are you going to let her do that to you, Jeff Miranda? Are you going to let her make a laughing stock out of you?

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Sorry for the lateness of today’s post — I didn’t have time to start it before my noon rehearsal in Manhattan and the MTA delayed my return home. But tomorrow will be finished much earlier. Scout’s honor.

G’night!