Today’s cover features President Obama, Benjamin Netanyahu and Mahmoud Abbas at the White House yesterday. The headline?

Now EARN that Nobel Peace Prize, Mr. President

The follow-up on page 6 (not to be confused with Page Six, which is on pages 10-12 today) is written by Charles Hurt, which explains why the sub-headline is Nobel credentials on the line as he urges Mideast ‘wisdom & courage’ (because if he doesn’t accomplish what no one else has ever been able to, he’ll have to give back his Nobel). I love how when the last guy was in office, the Post demanded that he be treated with the respect the office demands. But now, they can question his motives, his country of origin, his abilities… can you imagine what the headlines would be if he were a coke-snorting alcoholic army deserter whose wife killed her ex-boyfriend with her car?

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It was so hot yesterday (104º at one point) that Victoria Azarenka fainted during her match at the US Open (she claims that it was also due to an undiagnosed concussion she suffered before the match).

The good news is that today’s 97º high (boo) will be followed by 85º tomorrow, 79º on Saturday and a 78º Sunday. It will be nice to stop flop-sweating again.

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The firm of Worby Groner Edelman & Napoli Bern has agreed not to seek reimbursement from sickened Ground Zero workers for the $30,000,000 they spent on “lobbyists, public-relations experts and legal consultants.” Which makes them the real heroes.

Well, the heroes with health insurance, anyway.

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Maria McCormack, 42, is a shallow woman.

“I want to meet him and say, ‘Why? Why my car out of all the cars in the city?’ I wonder how he feels now that he made it. Does he feel like an idiot? I hope he’s OK. But I just want to know why.”

The him/he she’s referring to is Tom Magill. She wants to know why he chose her car to land on.

To paraphrase George Mallory, because it was there.

Shallow and dim.

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Oh, that’s gotta suck.

As miserable as it must be to be trapped in a mine with 32 other guys for the next four months, Yonni Barrios probably isn’t looking forward to his rescue.

At a recent vigil for the miners, Marta Salinas (his wife) noticed Susana Valenzuela calling his name. Turns out Susana has been Yonni’s mistress for the last five years.

¡Que lastima!

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James Cameron told Vanity Fair that Piranha 3-D is “exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D.”

Piranha 3-D’s producer, Mark Canton, replied, “His comments are ridiculous, self-serving and insulting to those of us who are not caught up in serving his ego and his rhetoric.”

Get a room, guys.

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Great political cartoon in Page Six — Obama’s delivering his speech on a TV (he’s saying, “MY FELLOW AMERICANS…”) and a guy is about to hit the TV with a chair! Because he hates the President of the United States!

Mmmmmm… that’s good satire!

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James Jay Lee, 43, took three hostages at the headquarters of the Discovery Channel yesterday, demanding that the network broadcast “pro-sterilization and anti-war programming.” He was shot and killed by police four hours later. No one else was harmed.

And yet no one seems to have a problem with Bravo’s endless glorification of society’s dregs.

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Are there five sweeter words in the English language than Andrea Peyser… is on vacation?

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A federal appeals court has ruled that Ladies’ Night, despite discriminating against men, is legal.

And what did they use to help reach that conclusion? “A 1972 Supreme Court decision that ‘found no state action’ when a Moose Lodge in Pennsylvania refused to serve a Black man because the club limited membership to White males.”

Congratulations, ladies! Sorry, thirsty Black men of Pennsylvania.

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Francesca Spero, 51, is suing Sean “Puff P. Diddy Daddy” Combs for $12,000,000. Why? Because he fired her from her job as a senior vice president of Bad Boy Entertainment.

She claims that her termination constitutes “age discrimination” and a violation of “the Americans with Disabilities Act for allegedly treating her as a ‘drug addict’ after she suffered a relapse of a 20-year-old opiate habit.”

Remember when firing someone for doing drugs on the job wasn’t something you could be sued for? Me neither.

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A man and woman have been arrested in central Pennsylvania for the shotgun murder of her husband. The victim? Samuel Boob. And the name of the man who allegedly helped Miranda Boob kill her husband? Kermit Butts. A third suspect was arrested, but not named. I’m assuming it’s either Peter O’Toole or John Thomas.

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Matt Patterson’s Meltdown of the Climate ‘Consensus’ explains that “If this keeps up, no one’s going to trust any scientists.”

And what is the “this” he’s referring to? “The prestigious InterAcademy Council, an independent association of ‘the best scientists and engineers worldwide’ (as the group’s own Web site puts it) formed in 2000 to give ‘high-quality advice to international bodies,’ has finished a thorough review of [the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change's] practices — and found them badly wanting.”

1) Well, if that’s what their own Web site says about them, it must be true.

2) Who does Matt Paterson work for? Green Watch, “a publication of the Capital Research Center.” And who is the CRC? “The Capital Research Center is a conservative think tank whose stated mission is to do ‘opposition research’ exposing the funding sources behind consumer, health and environmental groups.”

If this keeps up, no one’s going to trust any columnists.

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The article SOCIAL DIRECTOR (about a new Apple product called Ping) includes a photo of Steve Jobs with the caption “…Ping — which he described as ‘Facebook and Twitter meets iTunes.’” Although, if you actually read the article, you’ll read Jobs’ actual quote, “It’s not Facebook and it’s not Twitter.”

Outstanding work, Post.

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Will the Walt Disney Company and Time Warner Cable reach an agreement before midnight tonight?

I don’t care.

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How much has BP spent on advertising in the months following the spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Almost $100,000,000.

I hope the Post enjoys their cut.

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Crude oil went up to $73.91/barrel.

Sell! Sell! Sell!

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The Yankees won their fifth in a row (and Burnett’s win column finally has two digits in it). They lead Tampa Bay (who also won) by one game and Boston (who also won) by eight games. Our last game against Oakland is already under way (it’s 4-0 Yankees in the bottom of the eighth inning) with Sabathia all but assured his 19th win of the season.

Next up? Series against Toronto (69-64) and Baltimore (49-84).

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According to The Hollywood Reporter, ABC’s original choices for this seasons Dancing With the Stars included Ann Coulter, Erin Brockovich, Sylvester Stallone, Condoleezza Rice, Tim Allen, Mark Zuckerberg, Richard Branson, Joel McHale, Kirstie Alley, Drew Carey and Suzanne Somers.

You mean Bristol Palin wasn’t their first choice?!?

Even sadder? “‘Melanie Griffith tries to get on every season,’ said a source affiliated with casting the series.”

Even sadderer? People watch this show.

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Today’s TV casting rumor: Steve Carell’s replacement on The Office will be… Harvey Keitel?

Wow. I did not see that one coming.

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Michael Starr is back in the TV section today. Obama fades as TV star marks the decline in viewers for Obama’s various TV speeches. “President Obama needs a network makeover,” declares one of the Post’s most inept “reporters” (Starr’s bio on the Post’s Web site — in its entirety — is: Michael Starr has covered television at The Post since 1995).

If you do go to the Post’s Web site, today’s Starr Report discusses Family Feud’s new host, Steve Harvey. You have been warned.

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That’s it for Thursday. The final score of the Yankee game is 5-0. Congratulations, CC!

P.S. — Another oil rig has exploded in the Gulf of Mexico. Drill, baby, drill!