Archive for September 30th, 2010

R.I.P. Greg Giraldo

30th September
2010
written by jed

Carl Paladino vs. Fredric, You Dicker! U. Dicker. Round One. Ready? Fight!

Paladino is nuts.

Speaking of nuts, here’s Anderson Cooper interviewing America’s Worst Assistant Attorney General™.

This is just another tactic. Nothing personal against Chris. These tactics are part [sic] for the course. The real bigot here is Chris Armstrong.

Until Shirvell is fired in an especially humiliating way, I will refer to Michigan as Michigan Carolina. That’s how despicable I find this.

Bonus points: Shirvell works for Mike Cox. Say that five times as fast as you can.

Which brings us to today’s (main) cover story, KISS OF DEATH: Webcam makeout student kills self.

Tyler Clementi was a freshman at Rutgers University. On September 19th, Tyler asked his roommate if he could have the room to himself until midnight. His roommate, Dharun Ravi, agreed… and then turned on his computer’s Webcam. Ravi then went to Molly Wei’s room and accessed the feed on Skype.

They saw the closeted Tyler making out with another young man. And then they shared the footage with everyone on Ravi’s iChat network. Then Ravi posted this on Twitter: “Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into molly’s room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay.”

On September 21st, Ravi tweeted, “Anyone with iChat, I dare you to video chat me between the hours of 9:30 and 12. Yes, it’s happening again.” because he thought Tyler would be making out with someone again.

Tyler killed himself on September 22nd. Ravi was arrested and charged with “invasion of privacy” and released on $25,000 bail. Wei was arrested on “privacy-invasion charges” and released without bail.

Not cyber-bullying? What’s the maximum sentence for invasion of privacy? A fine? I hope Rutgers expels them.

The James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act passed the House yesterday 268-160. Four Democrats voted against it and 17 Republicans supported it. And now it heads to the Senate.

Republicans are calling it “another big-government entitlement program” that “America can’t afford.”

You know how America could afford to provide relief to the people who were actual participants in the event that Republicans have been using to get votes for nine years? Raising taxes on billionaires.

Ah… page 3 provides context for the Paladino/Dicker fight.

Dicker asked Paladino if he had proof that Andrew Cuomo cheated on his ex-wife while they were married (which Paladino alleged to politico.com). Instead of answering that question, Paladino yelled at Dicker for “sending a goon to stake out his former mistress at the home where she lives with their love child.”

As far as his references to Cuomo as an “extorter” and “despicable,” Paladino warned, “It’s going to get nastier,” to whoever is stupid enough to continue listening to him.

Oh, and Paladino has changed his mind on abortion. You can get one if your life is in danger. But if you are the victim of rape and/or incest — but not in mortal danger — you’ll have to carry the child to term.

Two. Fucking. Sentences.

Greg Giraldo, 44, died yesterday when he was taken off life support (he had been hospitalized for a prescription drug overdose). The Post gave him two sentences in the bottom left corner of page 7.

Directly above Comic Giraldo dies is the six-sentence The Force is with 3D, which announces that George Lucas is re-releasing all of the Star Wars movies in 3D.

Teresa and I were at the taping of his special, Midlife Vices. He was a genius. And he deserves more than two sentences in the paper. Here’s one of my favorite clips from Tough Crowd.

Rest in peace, Greg.

The developer behind the Ground Zero mosque Islamic cultural center near Ground Zero told the folks at Today that, “It’s been an eye-opener to see how my country, the United States, is using my religion, Islam. It’s been a humbling moment and it’s been a very sad moment for me personally.”

The headline of the article this appears in? Mosque big’s ’sad’ view of US.

Fair, balanced.

Tropical Storm Nicole is expected to drop three inches of rain on New York City today and tomorrow.

Bitch.

Arthur Penn, 88, director of Bonnie and Clyde and Alice’s Restaurant has also died. He got five sentences.

A Brooklyn federal jury has acquitted Mohammed Amadu.

He’s the guy who wrote a rap song about smuggling drugs on an airplane while smuggling drugs.

The jury believed Amadu’s defense, which was that he had no idea he had seven pounds of heroin in his luggage.

Look for his album, I Can’t Believe That Stupid Jury Fell For It, featuring the hit single “Of Course I Knew The Drugs Were There! I Put Them There! Duh!” in stores next month.

According to Page Six (today on page 18), Paris Hilton will star in a new reality show for the Oxygen Network.

Possible titles: Unconvictable, Bacterial Jamboree, and Whooooooooooore.

Some bandits in France stole 30 tons of cabarnet sauvignon grapes from a farmer.

Police are canvassing France for shady-looking men whose breath stinks of cabernet sauvignon. They expect to complete their investigation by 18912.

A man in Belchertown, Massachusetts (which I assume was founded by some six-year-olds) claims he was kicked out of the local library because of who he is. The library claims he was “banned for bad behavior.” And who is this man? Why, he’s Lord Jesus Christ.

“I’m Black, I’m transsexual and my name is Lord Jesus Christ.”

You go, God!

McDonald’s is considering cutting the health insurance of it’s “nearly 30,000 hourly workers.”

Record profits + continued global expansion = let’s screw our poorest employees.

And now you know what they teach at Hamburger University.

Nintendo projected $2,400,000,000 in profits for the fiscal year (which ends in March of 2011). But that was when they expected to release their new 3-D handheld game thing in time for Christmas. That is no longer the case. And so they’ve lowered their projections to $1,000,000,000.

That means the stock is dropping. Here’s my foolproof plan: Wait until the stock hits $28.00 and buy as much as I can. Wait until the new game thing is released and sell all of the stock once it hits $38.00. Wait until the technology is proven to damage your sight/give you cancer and buy as much stock as I can when it reaches $4.00. Become President of Nintendo, finally get my hands on an SNES and play The Tick for the rest of my life. Also, change the name of the company to Resniktendo and change Mario’s name to Sterotypio.

The Yankees lost, but so did Tampa. We remain half a game back.

We don’t play tonight, so Tampa will either increase their lead to a full game or they’ll wind up tied with us.

And then we play our last three games of the season against the lame ducks of Boston.

But whether we’re the wild card or not, the first game of the ALDS is Wednesday.

Hooray, baseball!

Howard Stern’s studio at Sirius XM was found to contain bedbugs. So was his limousine. So were the benches at the Union Square subway station.

No one is allowed in my house anymore. Except Teresa. Maybe.

Randy Jackson on sitting in Simon Cowell’s recently-vacated seat at the judges’ table on American Idol: “I’ll sit here and nobody will ever say, ‘Dawg. You’ve become Cowell. Cowell is the Dawg. He’s still my boy, but it’s not like that.”

Surprisingly, Jackson is a grown man.

The end.

If you are trying to secure a ticket to tonight’s Cage Match, drop me a line — I know a guy who knows a guy who has some extras.

Also, I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning, so I might be late with the blog. Patience, grasshopper.

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