Remember how the Post reported that Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s wife rented a swanky apartment for him to stay in while he’s out on bail? Today’s main cover story (PEPE LE PEW!: East Side high-rises slam door on skunk) reports that the board members at the Bristol Plaza changed their mind once they learned that Mrs. DSK would be living there with Mr. DSK. So where is he living? The Empire Building (71 Broadway), where many people in similar circumstances are living. People like Andrew Auernheimer, 26.

Andrew got a chance to meet DSK and told the Post, “I think he is misjudged by the public. I don’t want to say they trapped him, but it seems like there’s more to this story. I’d like to talk to him more about it, but I’m sure he won’t tell me.” Andrew is currently facing charges that he hacked into AT&T and stole “confidential data on 120,000 users of the popular Apple iPad tablet.”

Well, if the guy who stole the personal data from 120,000 people has a hunch that DSK is innocent, that’s good enough for me.

Bonus Points: DSK is getting a “golden parachute of about $250,000″ for stepping down from the IMF.

This hat…

… just sold for £81,000 (roughly $131,648).

I’m starting to wish Harold Camping was right.

The New York City Opera can no longer afford to remain at Lincoln Center and, after 45 years there, is looking for a new venue.

In a related story, Snooki is a millionaire.

Fun Facts about today’s Rapture:

• “The inhabitants who survive this terrible earthquake will exist in a world of horror and chaos beyond description. Each day people will die until Oct. 21, 2011, when God will completely destroy this earth and its surviving inhabitants.”

• “Those worthy of salvation will be taken to Heaven, along with the spirits of believers already deceased. Their pets will be left behind.”

• My favorite quote belongs to Robert Fitzpatrick (the guy who spent his life savings on subway ads telling us about the Rapture), who told the Post, “Many people will die until Oct. 21st. That’s why I am handing out magnets.”

[SPOILER: The Rapture didn't happen.]

According to a new (context-less) Gallup Poll, 53% of US residents support gay marriage and 45% are opposed.

Last year, a similar* poll had 44% in favor and 53% opposed.

Baby steps, America.

* I think

“Atheists have more fulfilling sex than believers, because they are freer from the guilty feelings imposed by religions, according to the survey of 14,000 people conducted by psychologist Darrel Ray and Kansas University researcher Amanda Brown. ‘The amount of masturbation, or sex, or kinky behavior is no different between the religious groups, but the feelings of guilt vary considerably,’ said Ray, an outspoken atheist.”

Additionally, atheists are just as likely to scream, “Oh, God!” while engaging in intercourse, but they’re less likely to molest altar boys.

“Rafaele Bayron, 69, was sitting next to [a woman] on an M16 bus on Second Avenue at 4:50 p.m. Wednesday when he reached behind her and squeezed her buttocks, cops said. The victim reported the groping and Bayron was arrested that day on charges of persistent sexual abuse.”

The last sentence is what made me furious, though: “Records show he was convicted in 2009 of sexually abusing an 8-year-old girl.”

I wish I lived in a country that severely punished people for sexually abusing children.

And speaking of our incredibly unjust justice system, Sheila Bethea, 46, has just been sentenced to 2 1/3 to seven years in prison after pleading guilty to manslaughter.

Her crime? She smoked crack, shot heroin and drank some booze before getting behind the wheel of a minivan — with five of her mother’s foster children inside — and drove into an oncoming car (she was going 70 mph at the time). Two of the five children (Melissa Elhmer-Mirra, 5, and Katherine Willis, 15) were killed. None of the children were wearing seat belts.

Sheila could be a free woman in less than three years.

Because America doesn’t care about its children.

Fun Fact: “The radical US-born imam linked to the Times Square bombing and Fort Hood massacre was a featured guest speaker at the Pentagon months after the 9/11 attacks, new documents have reported. Anwar al-Awlaki was invited to lecture military brass about ‘Islam and Middle Eastern Politics and Culture’ — even after he was questioned by the FBI about his ties to three of the airline hijackers who attacked the World Trade Center.”

I forget: Who was president on February 5, 2002?

Bloomfield, New Jersey’s Richard Homer Bucco writes in to say, “The Obama team has always used scare tactics like threatening that the government will shut down if the debt ceiling is not raised or that Social Security may be ended for retirees. The administration knows darn well that if Obama approves measures to cheat seniors, he will lose in 2012.”

Wow, Richard! If you got paid by the ignorant and contradictory statement, you’d be a millionaire!

Remember Maggie Gallagher?

She’s the hard-to-look-at former president of the National Organization for Marriage (NOM [NOM NOM]), which vehemently opposes allowing homosexuals to marry each other (. She’s married to Raman Srivastav and has two children — one (allegedly) by him and one (allegedly) out of wedlock from a previous relationship. Ironically, no photos of Raman or Maggie’s children exist online — you’d think that such an advocate of the sanctity of marriage would proudly share photographic evidence of her (alleged) family.

Well, she’s the author of today’s HOW HIGH SCHOOL FOSTERS SUICIDE, which begins, “Every two hours, a teenager in America takes his or her own life. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among youth, and the rate of teen suicide has roughly tripled since 1960, the year I was born.” I see a direct correlation.

She goes on to explain that she believes the reason so many high schoolers are killing themselves is simply because they’re in high school. “We group children into large schools primarily for bureaucratic convenience. But teens do better when they spend more time with adults, who are civilized — and less time interacting in cultures created by peers, who aren’t yet. It makes you wonder why anyone ever objects to home schooling.”

If anyone else wrote this, I’d consider it worthy of further thought. But this is Maggie Gallagher, author of DON’T BLAME ME FOR GAY TEEN SUICIDES. So what she’s really saying here is “So what if more gay kids are killing themselves — so are straight ones! Tolerance will change nothing!”

I still have trouble believing that two different men had sex with her (and that they were both able to climax).

Randy “Macho Man” Savage (real name: Randy Mario Poffo) has died at the age of 58.

Rest in peace, Macho Man. Ooooh, yeeeeah.

And that’s Saturday.

Busy weekend + busy week = less time writing here than I’d like. But I’ll do what I can.

Have a great week!