Posts Tagged ‘Today’
Longtime reader Scott F. in California has sent me a YouTube clip of Cindy Adams’ recent appearance on TV. Do not watch if you have just eaten or are about to eat:
As someone who reads the Post every day, I recognize almost everything she says from her columns (though the fact that she [allegedly] wrote it herself doesn’t seem to help her deliver it competently). But it made me realize that I have never searched for any video clips of her before. So I looked on YouTube and found this:
It isn’t really a video, true, but it did introduce me to this:
Notice the part at the bottom: “The hilarious adventures of Mr. and Mrs.” Nice typesetting, MGM!
In case any of you were wondering what to get me for Christmas 2012, I really, really want Cindy Adams to die.
Guess who isn’t on the cover of today’s Post. Go on, guess.
I’m not going to continue until you guess, so you’d better guess.
For Christ’s sake, just guess already!
What is it with you people? It’s like pulling teeth from a baby!
(beat)
Did you guess Rupert (or James) Murdoch? Then you are CORRECT!
In fact, you won’t see either of those foreign devils (James was born in England, Rupert was born in the fiery pits of Hell) until page 35 (FRANK TALK AT PROBE: Murdochs testify in UK and No slap on the wrist, both by Paul Tharp). And what do we learn in those pieces? That Rupert “yesterday again apologized” (what more do you people want?) and said that it was “the most humble day of my life” (and by “most” he meant “first”). Not mentioned: Sean Hoare. Mentioned: “Within seconds of [Wendi Murdoch's] slap, News Corp. shares spiked 18 cents, adding $330 million of shareholder value.” and “Shares of News Corp. rose 5.5 percent yesterday to $15.79, up 82 cents.”
Fair, balanced.
Instead of Rupert, there’s a different smarmy foreigner on today’s front page: Dominique Strauss-Kahn (ALL IN THE FAMILY: Mom of French accuser: Me, too!). Anne Mansouret, 65, mother of Tristane Banon, 32, claims that she slept with DSK once — and that it was “consensual but brutal.”
“He took me with the vulgarity of a soldier,” she said of DSK, reminding the world of the disdain the French have for people who actually fight when their country is at war. And after Banon’s run-in with DSK, Mansouret claims she contacted DSK’s ex-wife, Brigitte Guillemette (who is also Banon’s godmother), and that Guillemette confronted DSK — to which he replied, “I don’t know what got into me. I slept with the mother, [and] I blew a fuse when I saw the daughter.”
Mansouret also claims that she met with DSK after he (allegedly) attacked Banon and that he apologized. Guillemette and DSK both deny Mansouret’s claims, with DSK threatening to sue for defamation.
Poor DSK.
“The White House yesterday threw its support behind a bill that would repeal a 15-year-old law that defines marriage as between a man and a woman and denies many federal benefits to same-sex couples even when they are legally married.”
This is one of those things that would make me really happy… if it didn’t come after Obama repeatedly defended the Defense of Marriage Act. And if I didn’t think this was meant to make progressives feel better after they learn that Obama is giving up on tax hikes (while letting the GOP have their way with Social Security, Medicaid and Medicare). Speaking of which…
“Obama yesterday embraced a bold, new bipartisan debt-limit plan that would impose far-reaching budget reforms and slash the deficit by $3.75 trillion over 10 years while raising $1 trillion in revenues.”
And now the fine print: It “end[s] various tax breaks and loopholes, while lowering all income- and corporate-tax rates” while “overhauling Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid.”
Can you imagine how much more of the deficit we would slash (and how much more revenue we’d raise) if, instead of lowering the tax rates of corporations who don’t pay any taxes anyway, we increased them?
When I vote for Obama in 2012, I will be doing so angrily.
“An adviser to [Michele] Bachmann’s 2010 congressional campaign” claims that Bachmann “has terrible migraines headaches” that “put her out of commission for a day or more at a time. They come out of nowhere, and they’re unpredictable. The migraines are so bad and so intense, she carries and takes all sorts of pills.” The adviser went on to say the headaches “incapacitated” Bachmann.
“Bachmann issued a statement saying the headaches wouldn’t affect her ability to run the country, explaining she controls her symptoms with medication and her ‘ability to function effectively has never been impeded.’”
Not surprisingly, Geoff Earle’s article avoids asking the one question I’m sure all of you have:
What sin (or sins) is Michele Bachmann committing that makes God give her migraines?
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (which opened at #30 this weekend and has a gross through Monday of $151, 859) gets yet another mention in Page Six (today on pages 14, 15 and 16). But I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Wendi Murdoch produced it.
Hey, Cindy Adams! Try being funny!
“The Today show just did a whole segment on breasts. OK, fine. A study reveals that people who breast-fed had babies score higher on school tests. OK, fine. So how come those who aren’t breast-fed and who suffered low marks in class are called boobs?”
1) Did the study really say that the babies of people who breast-fed score higher on tests? Are you sure it wasn’t babies who breast-fed?
2) Get in the box.
“A cyber-vandal broke into the [Twitter] account of freshman Rep. Bill Johnson (R-Ohio), replacing his photo with an image of a naked man.”
Where have I heard that one before?
And why isn’t the headline JOHNSON PULLS A WEINER?
(to be said in a Sino-Brooklyn accent) Uh, I have a really good idea for a show.
(What is it, CBS?)
Uh, it’s called Same Name and what we do is we find people with the same name as a celebrity and then we have them meet!
(That’s a really terrible idea, CBS.)
No, uh, I really think it could work because David Hasselhoff is on the first episode with someone named David Haseloff!
(That isn’t even the same name, CBS! Seriously, this is the worst idea ever.)
Yeah, you’re probably right… did you know that Ashton Kutcher is replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men?
(end of game)
Seriously, though, how absurd is it that they couldn’t even find someone with the same name for the premiere of Same Name?
Bonus Points: David Hasselhoff goes to “what appears on television to be a large Hasselhoff family reunion in Texas.” And what did the famous man have to say about his Texan dopplegangers? “They were all, like, farmers. Some of them looked like they needed a dentist.”
The show premieres this Sunday, unless someone in a position of authority at CBS watches it first.
And that’ll do it for Wednesday.
If you’re wondering what to do this Saturday night from 7:30 – 8:30, I highly recommend seeing Let’s Have A Ball at the UCB. The lineup (which is subject to change) currently includes (in alphabetical order) Anthony Atamanuik, Joe Bill, Kay Cannon, Brandon Gardner, Christina Gausas, Anthony King, Pam Murphy and me. It will sell out. Reserve tickets early.
Happy Hump Day!
Derek Jeter gets the front (and back!) page all to himself (3,000! Jeter makes ‘hitstory’ with home run).
Christian Lopez, 23, is the guy who caught Jeter’s home run. He decided to give it to Jeter — and asked for nothing in return (I adore Jeter, but I know for a fact that someone would buy that ball for at least $1,000,000 — I’d give Jeter the right of first refusal, but I would’ve sold that ball in a heartbeat).
“As a reward, the team gave [Lopez] four Champion Suite tickets for the rest of the season and the postseason. Without including the postseason, they’re worth between $32,000 and $73,600. He also got four seats behind home plate for today’s game and several Jeter-signed bats [sic] balls and jerseys.”
And though Steiner Sports won’t be able to sell the home run ball, they will be selling yesterday’s lineup card ($10,000), the bases ($12,000 to $15,000), the signed-by-Jeter-and-David-Price pitching rubber ($10,000), the on-deck-circle rubber mat ($5,000), “home-plate dirt embedded in commemorative bats” ($999), and much, much more.
Other Derek Jeter Fun Facts: He is now at the top of the Yankees’ All-Time Hits List (and will probably stay there for many, many years), yesterday was his third 5-hit game, and the exact time when Jeter (who wears the number 2 on his jersey) got his 3,000th hit was 2:00. Additionally, Jeter has the 27th most hits of the 28 players in the 3,000 club (Roberto Clemente has 3,000). If he gets another 58 hits this season, he’ll move to 19th place (behind Dave Winfield’s 3,110). Also, only 10 players have gotten all 3,000 hits playing for the same team. Jeter is in 9th place on that list (Clemente got all 3,000 with the Pirates), but will shortly pass Al Kaline (3,007 with the Tigers). I wouldn’t be surprised if he also passed Craig Biggio (3,060 with the Astros) by season’s end.
On page 78, Joel Sherman discusses which teams might be interested in the Mets’ Jose Reyes. He notes that Yankees GM Brian Cashman said they won’t try to sign Reyes, but Sherman doesn’t believe him — “especially if the Yankees and Derek Jeter falter the rest of the way.” Seriously, fuck… (to be continued)
And on page 89, Joel Sherman returns with Perfect fit for Captain that brilliant effort came in win. He uses the word “but” after every compliment he gives Jeter (the word appears eight times). For example:
“This was chilling and memorable, nostalgic and surreal, impressive and historic. But…”
“So the 5-for-5 yesterday… instantly goes into [Jeter's] long reel of genius. But…”
“Jeter was the best player on the field, which was wonderful considering the timing. But…”
“‘It was one special day,’ Jeter said. And it will last forever, no matter what. But…”
(continued from above) … you, Joel Sherman.
DUIWTS!
Hines Ward, current wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers and winner of the last season of Dancing With the Stars, has been arrested in Georgia for driving under the influence. Ironically, hours before his arrest he posted this on Facebook and Twitter: “How many of you guys and gals text while driving? I am bad at doing that. It’s very unsafe. Help remind me from time to time to stop texting, tweeting, or facebook while driving. Let’s help each other!” The Post reprinted that, but not what he followed it with (it has since been removed from Facebook but the first part of it is on Twitter): “I know it’s dangerous. Trust me, I love my LIFE! But it’s a bad habit I have.”
Apparently you have a few bad habits, Hines. And DWTS is the least of them.
Marlon Brando invented “friction sandals” which he “designed to give wearers more exercise by being harder to walk in” are being mass produced by Hong Kong-based manufacturer K-Tone, which is calling the new line of shoes “Marlon Balance.”
The shoes sound like a great idea… until you remember what Marlon Brando looked like before he died.
They don’t appear to work very well.
In Gary Buiso’s Quitter Kruger ‘plea deal’, “sources” tell the Post that state Sen. Carl Kruger will resign “by the end of the summer.” But if you can make it the seventh paragraph, you’ll get Kruger’s comment: “I am absolutely not resigning.”
Who to believe… who to believe…
Michael Goodwin actually says that Obama “doesn’t care” about the level of unemployment in the country — he’s only “pretending” that he cares.
“He talked of cutting the deficit and in the next breath proposed a new government jobs program on infrastructure.” How absurd! How is such a thing possible? Besides getting corporations who are making trillions in profits to pay any taxes at all.
Page Six (today on page 10) reports that Chris Hansen (host of the popular “To Catch A Predator” episodes of Dateline) was going to become the new lead anchor of Dateline following Ann Curry’s move to Today. But NBC has decided not to promote him following reports that Hansen has been cheating on his wife with TV reporter Kristyn Caddell. “It was later reported that Hansen sent explicit photos of himself to Caddell and is now terrified they could be leaked.”
If NBC were clever, they would’ve let Hansen think he still had the promotion and then, right before taping his first show as lead anchor, someone would walk out from behind the set and say, “Hello. What are you up to? Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”
Over on page 12, there’s a small Associated Press story telling us that Japan’s northeastern coast was just hit by a 7.1-magnitude earthquake and that a tsunami warning was issued.
Why does Black Gay Jesus hate Japan so much?
“House Republicans budget negotiators have abandoned plans to pursue a massive $4 trillion, 10-year deficit-reduction package in the face of stiff GOP opposition to any plan that increases taxes.”
Wait… doesn’t that prove that raising taxes (on the people who can more than afford it) can greatly reduce the deficit?
Today’s POSTSCRIPT credits Mayor Bloomberg with saying (about Dominique Strauss-Kahn), “If you don’t want do the perp walk, don’t do the crime.” But the original quote was a complete sentence and included the word “to” between “want” and “do.”
There’s also a quote from Michele Bachmann: “They want you to think that the Tea Party is made up of toothless hillbillies coming down out of the hills wearing red, white and blue. But the fact is, they should be afraid of the Tea Party.” Be careful not to alienate the toothless hillbillies, Michele. They love you! (B’also? Am I the only person who is scared of toothless hillbillies running down a hill at me?)
Carl Campanile almost manages to make it through his GOP eyes on Weiner’s seat (and yet they have an anti-gay agenda [see what I did there?]) without spelling Bob Turner’s name wrong. But the 20th paragraph (of 28) begins, “Give Turned credit for raging against the machine.”
So close, Carl!
Peggy Noonan is responsible for page 26 and 27’s ‘WE NEED A REAGAN’.
I’m pretty sure that that’s a typo (everyone knows that what this country really needs is a raygun).
Would Iran talk all that smack if we had one of these bad boys aimed at them?
WALL(ET) STREET notes that “political contributions from Goldman Sachs favored Republican candidates by 60 percent, according to figures from last year” (though it doesn’t provide the actual numbers) and that 71% of last year’s political contributions from Morgan Stanley, UBS and Bank of America went to the GOP.
This seems like as good a time as any for this (WARNING: Ann Coulter is briefly seen and heard):
Page 39 is devoted entirely to REALITY BITES!: The Post’s Ashley Dupre can’t stand the heat, but sticks it out in the kitchen for the new show ‘Famous Food’. It’s unintentionally hilarious. And racist.
“My heart and nerves are racing. What am I doing? I think. Not only did I agree to open up a restaurant in a city I don’t know — with six people I don’t know — but I agreed to be filmed for a VH1 reality show, Famous Food, while doing it. Scary. I walk in and recognize no one. Two guys, who I assume are rappers of some sort, recognize me.” I like that Ashley just assumed they were rappers. Why not professional athletes? Or escaped felons?
“The first thing one of them says is, ‘I have a picture of you up in my booth!’ I learn they’re DJ Paul and Juicy J from Three 6 Mafia, and they’re talking about my Playboy spread. I’m flattered, but it’s always a little uncomfortable when someone says that they ‘love your spread.’ I mean, how do you respond to something like that? And on camera no less!” You respond by thanking them for admiring the naked pictures that Playboy overpaid you for. I mean, it’s not like one of them said, “My friend once paid you for sex! He said you fucked like a professional prostitute! Which you were at the time!”
She goes on to insist that the show is 100% authentic (“No do-overs or take-2’s. It’s all real.”) before describing the arrival of the next “celebrity” cast member: The Bachelor’s Jake Pavelka. “He looks too classy to fuel the fire on this Playboy conversation. In fact, we sit there and have no idea what the Three 6 Mafia guys are even saying because we literally can’t understand their gangsta talk. The little bit that I can make out is inappropriate and degrading. I am very uncomfortable, but I just smile, laugh and follow Jake’s lead as the rest of the cast enters, one by one.”
I can’t believe those classless people of color actually mentioned Ashley’s Playboy spread! Why didn’t they mention one of her numerous other accomplishments that have nothing to do with sex? Like… her hit single “Move Ya Body (Up Against Mine)”… her job at the Post… her life as a hooker… Well, anyway, Three 6 Mafia: Not classy!
The other “celebrities” show up: Vinnie Pastore (The Sopranos), Danielle Staub (The Real Housewives of New Jersey) and Heidi Montag (The Hills). Ashley doesn’t like being on the show, especially because Danielle Staub keeps picking fights with her (“Every reality show has that one person who is all too willing to sacrifice their dignity for so-called fame. Ours is Danielle.”), despite how similar they look.
And now, the coup de grâce: “I really want to leave. Especially after the first day and Three 6 Mafia’s sexist comments. I don’t know if I can handle being around men who treat women like pieces of meat.” Ashley, if there is one thing you are actually qualified to do, it’s be around men who treat women like pieces of meat!
But we’re not done with Ms. Dupre just yet. Because it’s time to…
ASK ASHLEY!
What’s the best way to suggest a weekend away if we haven’t been together that long? — Anonymous
ASHLEY: “My suggestions would be to bring it up nonchalantly.”
ME: “My suggestions would be to bring it up nonchalantly and to not incorrectly pluralize words.”
I went on a few dates with a girl — let’s call her Anne — and we really hit it off. She recently took me to a party where I ran into a friend of hers, Emma, who I knew at college. Back in school, I dated Emma’s roommate, Beth, and we went through an ugly breakup after I treated her badly — cheating and lying. I’m not proud of how I acted, but it was two years ago. Now Emma says I have to tell Anne about what happened or she’s going to do it! If I tell Anne, she’ll probably be turned off, but it was so long ago that I acted like that and it was in college when I was different. Maybe Emma is bluffing, but I don’t know what to do. — Anonymous
ASHLEY: “Look, just because you were a male whore in college doesn’t mean you’re the same person now.”
ME: “Two years is not ’so long ago’. B’also? I disagree with the prostitute — once a whore, always a whore.”
In his weekly Pedo Asia Cine File column, V.A. Musetto encourages readers to go see The Seaside Motel (it’s Japanese and features “a happy hooker named Candi” and “a businessman with sexual problems”) and A Night in Nude: Salvation (three of the plot keywords on the movie’s IMDB page are Pole Dance, Pole Dancer and Pole Dancing).
And that’s Sunday.
My freelancer inbox is once again empty, so I should be able to return to my regular(er) writing schedule. Of course, I haven’t seen my wife in three weeks and her plane just landed, so I reserve the right to sleep in tomorrow (especially since it’s also my birthday).
Besides a tiny box trumpeting the victories of the Yankees and Mets, today’s cover features two stories — see if you can figure out what they have in common!
Cops let jackass bring city to a halt: POLE-ISH JOKE! (and its follow-up on pages 4 and 5, SEALING OFF THE ‘CLIMB’ SCENE) tells the story of Raymond “CI Joe” Velasquez, 34, who climbed a light post on the corner of West 44th Street and Seventh Avenue. He spent almost two hours there, where he “happily danced, laid down, did pull-ups and rapped.” And how did the NYPD respond? “Police closed nearly 20 surrounding blocks to cars beginning at 9:45 a.m., setting off huge traffic jams that spread across many more streets until nearly noon, as they indulged Velasquez’s antics.”
Fun Fact: What the Post calls “nearly noon,” the rest of the world calls 11:20 a.m.
The article goes on to mock Velasquez for what the authors (all five of them) call “a bonehead bid to promote his CDs.” A witness told the Post, “He was holding a CD — it looked like he just wanted publicity.” Then we get a list of all of the TV shows that Velasquez has snuck onto (Today, 106 & Park, The Early Show) and information on how to view the clips (they’re on his MySpace page).
Bonus Points: A sidebar lists WHAT COPS COULD HAVE DONE (BUT DIDN’T)! The list includes “Had Con Ed send up a shock,” “Cherry-picked him off the pole” (which, unless I’m wrong, means used a sniper to shoot him down), and “Shot him down with a fire hose.” Surely this is a joke, right? [SPOILER: No.]
The other story on the front page is My secret affair with Megan Fox (the follow-up on page 5 is cleverly titled I HAD SEX WITH MEGAN FOX). The piece (by David K. Li) implies that Shia LaBeouf dropped this “bombshell” in order to get publicity for his new movie (Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon). In fact, David begins his full-page article with “You can’t buy this kind of publicity.”
Bonus Points: “When asked about [Megan Fox's husband, Brian Austin] Green, LaBeouf could barely speak a coherent sentence. ‘I don’t know, man. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know,’ LaBeouf said.” Actually, those sentences (while redundant) are extremely coherent.
Have you figured out what these two stories have in common? I’ll give you a hint: Since page 2 is a full-page ad for Bloomingdale’s, the Post’s first five pages has only two stories, both of which accuse people of being publicity whores. I’ll say that again: The Post’s first five pages has only two stories, both of which accuse people of being publicity whores.
And today’s delightful Anthony Weiner headline (on page 6 — not to be confused with Page Six, today on pages 14 and 15) is…
Weiner to do hard time in rehab
Bonus Points: Remember yesterday when the Post mocked Weiner was calling everyone considering running to replace him so that he could play a role in the transition? Well, if you can make it to the 8th paragraph, you’ll read that Rep. Joe Crowley (Queens’ Democratic chairman, who the Post also reported Weiner called to try and “play kingmaker”) told the Post that “‘the conversation was really more about how bad he feels about the situation he caused.’ The county leader declined to elaborate.”
Anybody need elaboration for Crowley’s statement? Besides this horrible newspaper?
RUDY BREAKS VOWS reports that Rudy 9iu11ani promised to preside at the wedding of the gay car dealer (Howard Koeppel) who let him live in his house while Rudy was going through a bitter divorce (with his second wife, not his first wife, who was also his second cousin) — if gay marriage was ever legalized in New York.
Now that gay marriage is legal in New York, 9iu11ani isn’t returning Koeppel’s phone calls.
You’d think that someone with such a pronounced lisp would be nicer to homosexuals.
I owe you two-thirds of an apology, Geoff Earle.
Yesterday I reprimanded you for not mentioning three unflattering Michele Bachmann news items in your puff piece and then sarcastically added, “But I’m sure all of that will be in tomorrow’s paper.”
Earle’s Bachmann sorry for new gaffe does, in fact, discuss her recent John Wayne Gacy gaffe and that she “stood by [her incredibly erroneous] statement about the Founding Fathers.”
If he had mentioned the Tom Petty thing, I might have sent him a fruit basket.
In another article, Earle writes about Sarah Palin for some reason. He mentions that Bristol Palin has told whoever would listen to her that her mother “has made up her mind” about whether she’s running for president. “[Sarah] Palin brushed aside Bristol’s comments… saying, ‘It’s a tough decision. It’s a big decision to decide whether to run for office or not. I’m still contemplating.’”
One of these two morons is lying. If not both of them.
Any hot gossip today, Cindy Adams?
“July 11 premieres Syfy Channel guy’s new sci-fi comic play ‘Mad Mel and the Marradians.’”
Really? Syfy Channel guy? He’s great! Any decrepit attempts at humor?
“Anyone know Washington’s mother told him: ‘Kid, throw more money across the Potomac, and you blow your allowance.’ And Lincoln’s mom: ‘Enough with that stupid stovepipe hat. Wear a baseball cap like everybody else.’ From Paul Revere’s ma, Shirley: ‘If not for me, you’d have taken up ballet instead of horseback riding.’”
Get in the box.
Here are two stories that appear (one after the other) in the NYPD DAILY BLOTTER. See if you can figure out what they have in common!
“A Bronx man was stabbed to death during a drunken knife fight in Harlem, cops said yesterday. Police found Sergio Palma-Ciliano, 35, at 9:40 p.m. Monday with several-wounds [sic] in his stomach and chest as he lay on the fourth floor stairwell inside the building on West 136th Street near Broadway. Police arrested Pedro Flores, 23, and charged him with murder.”
and
“A man was stabbed to death in a drunken Harlem knife fight, cops said. Officers found the 35-year-old victim with stomach and chest wounds in a fourth-floor stairwell at 516 W. 136th St. at 9:40 p.m. Monday. He died at Harlem Hospital. The brother of the victim’s girlfriend was taken into custody and confessed to the crime, cops said. Charges are pending, police said.”
Minutes before jury selection was scheduled to start for his trial, Mauricio Rosales, 34, admitted that he raped four women over six years. He “was allowed to plead down to sexually assaulting the women — including a 12-year-old girl — at knifepoint and robbing them. The Mexican immigrant agreed to the plea in exchange for 25 years in prison.”
He raped four women, one of whom was 12 at the time, and he will get no more than 25 years in prison. Even if he serves the full sentence, he’ll be 59 when he gets out. Repulsive.
Andy Soltis reports that Bernie Madoff is complaining about his jail sentence.
“Explain to me who else has received a sentence like that. I mean, serial killers get a death sentence, but that’s virtually what they gave me. I’m surprised [Judge Denny] Chin didn’t suggest stoning in the public square,” said Madoff.
“He said it was ‘totally unrealistic and unfair’ for Chin to characterize him as ‘this monster and this evil person. In my mind Chin was anything but fair,’ Madoff whined, ‘with zero understanding of the industry.’”
You know what this country needs? Less regulation.
“A controversial recommendation of only probation for fired officers Kenneth Moreno and Franklin Mata — made in a sealed, pre-sentencing memo filed by the Department of Probation and based in part on interviews with the now-fired cops — was revealed yesterday during a court appearance originally scheduled for the duo’s sentencing.”
Why do we even have trials?
Remember when I told you the Post wasn’t kidding with their WHAT COPS COULD HAVE DONE (BUT DIDN’T)! list? Here’s my proof — the conclusion of the editorial The Finest’s Not-So-Finest Hour.
“As for the NYPD, here’s a suggestion: Next time Coney Island Joe, or anyone, pulls a stunt like this, leave the inflatable pads on the truck, and the negotiators back at the precinct. Just call the Fire Department — and let them hose the dope off the pole. That’ll end things nice and quick.”
I love it when the Post advocates the possible murder of Americans.
MOVIE REVIEWS!
Lou Lumenick gives zero stars to Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon. Here are some of the many things he said about it:
“TOTAL BOMB!” “Oy Bay!” “BAY’S OPTIMUS SLIME” and my personal favorite, “a movie so confusingly frenetic that it looks like it was edited by a 5-year-old after consuming three bowls of LSD-laced Cap’n Crunch.”
V.A. Musetto gives three stars to Aurora (violence, nudity).
The Yankees won on Tuesday night (and again tonight) and Boston lost on Tuesday night (and again tonight). Which means we’re in 1st place by 2½ games.
How do you like them apples?
Linda 3Starsi reviews CNBC’s Crime Inc: Deadly Prescriptions. She gives it…
…three stars.
Teresa just told me she has something special planned for me tomorrow later today. So I might not get a chance to write after all (I have a Dog Court rehearsal in the evening). But if I can, I will.
There was a mix-up at the cake place. It’s a perfect likeness of me, but they spelled my name wrong. Oh, well.
It’s still delicious.
Police finally caught the guy who (they believe) killed those four people in the Haven Drugs pharmacy on Long Island.
“Suspected pill addict David Laffer has been charged with slaughtering four people in a Long Island pharmacy to score a bag full of pain killers for his nagging, drug-addled wife, who was his getaway driver after the Father’s Day massacre, police and witnesses said yesterday.”
Here are David and Melinda Laffer on their wedding day in 2009:
And here’s David, 33, now:
And here’s Melinda, 29, now:
I look forward to the bio-pic starring Tim Blake Nelson and Julianne Moore.
Remember Joseph Brooks? He’s the Oscar-winning songwriter who (allegedly) sexually assaulted 13 women over the years, and who committed suicide rather than go to trial. Well, the Post has learned the contents of his will. His four children (including accused murderer, Nicholas) get… nothing. His personal trainer at The Sports Club/LA gym on East 61st Street gets… everything.
In a related story, Brooks has risen from the dead and seeks brains to eat.
I can’t decide if S.A. Miller’s It’s official — Weiner out is yet another poor attempt at a double-entendre headline or the first Weiner story intentionally without one.
I’m going with my gut and saying the former.
Obama gave an address last night and announced that he was going to withdraw 10,000 troops from Afghanistan by the end of the year and another 23,000 by the end of Summer 2012. “By 2014, this process of transition will be complete, and the Afghan people will be responsible for their own security,” he said.
And how does Michael A. Walsh feel about this? Let’s check the headline of his column for a clue:
So much for real victory — unless, that is, it’s merely a political one
The Vulcan Muppet calls Obama’s address “a campaign speech designed to paint him more as dispassionate peacemaker than as commander in chief.”
1) Commander-in-chief is hyphenated, Brainiac.
2) So… Obama decided that he would make himself appear dispassionate (b’also not a commander-in-chief)? He did that by design?
At the end of his rant, Walsh quotes Obama: “‘Let us finish the work at hand. Let us responsibly end these wars and reclaim the American Dream.’ Just after 9/11, is that really what we were fighting for? Whatever happened to victory?”
What we were fighting for just after 9/11 was revenge. But now that 1,600 of our soldiers have been killed in Afghanistan since 2001, maybe a reassessment of why we’re there is in order?
Fun Fact: Michael A. Walsh has never served anyone but himself.
I’m still waiting for Goodwin’s, but here’s Andrea Peyser’s reaction to NBC’s omission of “under God” in their broadcast of (parts of) the Pledge of Allegiance (DON’T EDIT ‘GOD’!).
“…the words were censored by NBC during coverage of the US Open golf tournament last weekend. Leaving no question that network grunts might be having a senior moment, NBC edited out the phrase not once, but twice — when the kids said, ‘under God, indivisible’ and ‘one nation under God indivisible.’”
OMG! NBC also thinks we’re more than one nation! Secular people are so stupid!
This literally boggles my mind.
Pilot grounded for ‘ugly’ crack (credited to Post Wire Services) explains that “A Southwest Airlines pilot was suspended after he accidentally broadcast a conversation with his first officer, in which he described the flight crew based in [Houston] as ‘one of the ugliest.’”
Why is my mind boggled? Well, why don’t you listen to the (NSFW) recording and see if you can figure it out.
“Eleven fucking over-the-top fucking ass-fucking homosexuals and a granny… I thought I was in Chicago which is Party Land… gays and grannies and grandes… I don’t give a fuck! I hate 100 percent of their asses.”
There isn’t a single mention of the gay-bashing in the article.
This is a terrible newspaper.
According to Page Six (today on pages 14 and 15), Lindsay Lohan refused to leave her bedroom when Matt Lauer went to her house for an interview (to be aired on Today) because she decided the $50,000 she was getting for it wasn’t enough (she wanted $100,000).
In a related story, Lindsay failed a drug test (she had alcohol in her system) and is due in court today. Will she be put in jail? Probably not. But she’ll get yelled at and threatened by a judge. Again.
Other Page Six items include:
• Liv Tyler, 33, is now dating Theo Wenner, 24. Theo’s dad is Jann Wenner. Liv’s dad is Steven Tyler.
• Mayor Jim Cahill (of New Brunswick, New Jersey) refuses to grant a liquor license to Larry Blatterfein until he changes the name of his proposed bar. And what is the name Blatterfein wants? Buck Foston’s. Heh.
• Many other stories that no one in their right mind cares about.
Cindy Adams’ Attempt At Wit #7,412,903:
“Note to Anthony Weiner: Great thing about unemployment is, instantly you get out of bed in the morning you’re on the job.”
I guess that’s almost a sentence. Not a witty one, but still.
John Galliano “told a Paris court yesterday he has no memory of his anti-Semitic diatribes and blamed booze, barbiturates and sleeping pills for the convenient blackout.”
The court immediately surrendered on behalf of the nation.
Linda 3Starsi doesn’t give it a rating, but she does complain about True Blood in her Tired ‘Blood’: Where did all the toe-curling vampire sex go?
Now that’s what I call criticism!
And that’s it for Thursday.
I have an extraordinarily busy few days ahead of me, but I’ll update when I can.
Let’s Have A Ball is off this week, but I’ll be at The Creek and The Cave tomorrow night to cheer on Dog Court as they attempt to retain their championship belt at The Arena (Two-peat! *clap*clap* Two-peat! *clap*clap* Two-peat!).
Before the show, I will be eating The Creek’s delicious nachos (but I will not be drinking their Malbec — that was a very stupid decision on my part).
Happy Thursday!
In honor of Father’s Day, today’s main cover story is WHOA, DADDY!: Sperm donor discovers he has 129 kids (“and counting”). Looks like someone wants his own show on The Learning Channel.
From Airline: United, we stay delayed on page 7: “Delays blamed on a computer glitch in United Airlines’ reservation system grounded flights nationwide and could continue throughout the weekend, officials said yesterday.”
This better not affect my wife’s flight home next Wednesday.
“South Korean Marines fired rifles at a civilian jetliner descending to land after they mistook it for a North Korean military aircraft, an airline official and a news report said yesterday… The Asiana Airlines jet carrying about 120 people was undamaged and no one was hurt.”
Moral of the story: South Korean Marines aren’t very good shots.
Michael Goodwin’s Sense of Huma (in its entirety): “If Huma [Abedin] wants to taste revenge on [Anthony] Weiner, here’s what she should tell him: It’s not your baby!”
Don’t quit your day job, Michael. Wait. On second thought? Please quit your day job, Michael.
Clarence Clemons, 69, had a stroke last Sunday. He passed away on Saturday.
I’ll miss him (I’ve been a friend of his since 1985).
Maureen Callahan’s VALDERRAMA ON THE T&A LIST analyzes Wilmer Valderrama’s sex life over the last 15 years and notes that he likes dating extremely young “women.”
Por ejemplo, Wilmer (now 31) dated Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Simpson when they were 21, Jennifer Love Hewitt when she was 20, Lindsay Lohan when she was 17, Mandy Moore when she was 16, and he just broke up with 18-year-old Demi Lovato. But, hey, it’s not like he’s sleazy.
“Valderrama told [Howard] Stern that Hewitt was an ‘8,’ spoke luridly about sex with Lohan and taking Moore’s virginity, saying the experience wasn’t ‘like warm apple pie’ but it ‘was really good, though.’”
Fun Fact: He’s the voice of Disney’s Handy Manny.
Tooling around, indeed.
There’s a new book called Unlikely Friendships that features photos of “unusual animal pairings.” Here are some of the more adorable ones.
and
and
and
“A former NYU physician allegedly drugged a cerebral-palsy patient half his age so he could have sex with her, the woman claims. Jamie Hooker, 25, alleges Dr. David Magill, 50, loaded her up with meds one day last year, lured her to a motel room and had sex with her. Magill, a cerebral-palsy specialist, surrendered his license last week and admitted to professional misconduct, according to the state Health Department… Hooker called police after the May 31, 2010 incident, but cops didn’t charge Magill with a crime, her lawyer said.”
I have a lot of questions about this case (why didn’t the cops charge him? why is this only being talked about over a year after the fact? what’s the professional misconduct Magill admitted to?), but I won’t find the answers in this terrible newspaper.
“Japanese scientists have created meat made from proteins culled from human waste.”
Shortly after announcing their breakthrough, the scientists were sued for copyright infringement by McDonald’s.
Kyle Smith’s BLAME THE ATM!: Obama’s silly explanation for unemployment shows he has no clue on the jobs crisis is full of indignation so feigned, it practically reeks of ham.
“Republican gaffe: mangled grammar, malapropisms, trivial errors on historical details, claims of dubious relevance. Democratic gaffe: statement that reveals fundamental ignorance of basic economics and business. Results of Republican gaffe: nationwide derision. Results of Democratic gaffe: crickets. ‘There are some structural issues with our economy where a lot of businesses have learned to become much more efficient with a lot fewer workers,’ President Obama told Ann Curry on the Today show Tuesday. ‘You see it when you go to a bank and you use an ATM, you don’t go to a bank teller, or you go to the airport and you’re using a kiosk instead of checking in at the gate.’”
“Let’s quickly run through some of the major conceptual errors behind that statement: ATMs and airport check-in kiosks are not new, though persistently crushing levels of unemployment are. Moreover, the number of bank tellers actually has grown over recent decades. And if we should fear machines for stealing jobs… Obama should step right up to the implications of his logic and announce his great bill: the De-Automation Full Employment Act.”
He didn’t say that ATMs are to blame for the current jobs crisis, you disingenuous prick. He’s pointing out that they — and kiosks in airports — have greatly reduced the need for human interaction. Yes, people still use bank tellers in banks, but rarely to deposit a check or check their balance. In fact, some banks are now penalizing customers for using tellers for things like that.
But our economy is more than just banks and airports (though the increase in bank employees is probably due to the fact that they’re needed to process all of the institutions’ foreclosures). Self-checkout in supermarkets has lowered the number of humans needed to work the register. Obama used two examples of how automation adds to the decrease in the number of jobs for people. Any idiot can understand that.
Kyle Smith’s titular implication is purposely misleading, insulting and immature. But I’ve learned to expect nothing more from Kyle.
This made me laugh out loud on the subway.
“I talk to people. I care about people. The president has no understanding of what is happening in real people’s lives.” — Michele Bachmann
Why did this make me laugh so hard? Because a couple of days ago, I read this quote from Bachmann:
“I support intelligent design. What I support is putting all science on the table and then letting students decide. I don’t think it’s a good idea for government to come down on one side of scientific issue or another, when there is reasonable doubt on both sides.”
Making her a person with no understanding of science (and, therefore, what is happening in real people’s lives).
The Post gets a lot of letters from morons, but this one (from Manhattan’s Sam King) is particularly moronic.
“‘Why Sex Scandals Matter’ (Kyle Smith, PostScript, June 12) is a great article, and he made a good point: ‘No, it’s not less important when it’s a Democrat’… A Republican would have been out in a few days. This lewd behavior is totally unacceptable.”
I had no idea that John Ensign and David Vitter are Democrats.
Listed in this week’s LOSERS is the CEO and President of Pandora, Joseph Kennedy (their IPO didn’t meet expectations).
On the bright side, this will draw attention away from his past as a bootlegger and his support of Adolf Hitler.
Hey, Christine Busciglio, author of BAD CHARACTERS on page 33? The plural of costume is costumes, not costume’s. Also, the comic-book character’s name is Spider-Man, not Spiderman. A good way to remember this is to look at the name of the musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark — which you mention (and spell correctly) in the same article.
Otherwise, great job.
In CAMWOW!, Sara Stewart quotes “a female comedian in her 30s who works in films and sitcoms” as saying, “I think Cameron Diaz is in the same boat as Sarah Jessica Parker and Sandra Bullock. Although Parker has been more cute than fuckable in the last few roles, I remember Sandra Bullock being totally nude in [The Proposal] with Ryan Reynolds. Selling out is a necessary part of the process to do mainstream stuff.”
I wonder who the comedian is… I had some guesses, but I can’t imagine any of them referring to Sarah Jessica Parker as cute.
Reed Tucker’s COCO THE CRANKY paints a very negative picture of Conan O’Brien (as portrayed in the new documentary Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop). “The third-act crisis — the supposed dramatic highpoint, when all the tension comes to a head — occurs when the star melts down because his back-up dancer’s family wants to take a quick photo with him… Jack McBrayer (Kenneth on 30 Rock) drops by backstage at one point, but what could have been an interesting summit between two comedians is quickly buried by O’Brien’s suffocating redneck riffs at McBrayer’s expense, including an improvised piano song, ‘You Stupid Hick.’”
Maybe I’m not looking forward to seeing this after all.
ASK ASHLEY!
About a year ago, I went out on exactly two dates with a guy I know. We kissed on the first date, and I went down below (with my hands only) on the second. We never moved any further. We are in the same business and have many mutual friends. One of them recently asked me about something she heard from the guy. Namely, that I supposedly had sex with him several times, would call him late at night to come pleasure me and even pay for his cab fare home the same night! Now I really want to just tell everyone the truth about his small package, but wonder if it’s better to take the high road and keep my mouth shut. It’s not cool that he’s making up lies about me, but is it OK to respond with a hurtful truth? — Christie, Williamsburg
ASHLEY: “Tell him exactly what you’ve heard, and let him plead his case. I guarantee he’ll lie to you, though.”
ME: “Ashley sure does hate men, huh? Anyhoodles, I’m having trouble understanding why you’re conflicted. He’s (allegedly) calling you a needy whore (no offense, Ashley) to your mutual acquaintances, and you’re considering ‘taking the high road’ and not denying it? The really hurtful truth is that you’re a doormat… who gives handjobs on the second date.”
I’m a teacher, and I recently found myself falling for one of my students’ fathers, who is married. We’ve been flirting innocently for quite some time, but in March, at a parent-teacher event, it seemed to reach a high point. The following week I felt I needed to clear the air and tell him how I felt. He agreed, and invited me to his house. Nothing happened, but days later he wrote and suggested we just remain friends. Thing is, I’m intent on being physical with him, and find it hard to see him — or his kid — at school. I am lost and confused. Please help. — Janey
ASHLEY: “If he’s that unhappy, then he needs to sort it out on his own, without further distraction. His suggestion that you remain friends is his (inappropriate) way of telling you that.”
ME: “You’re ‘intent on being physical with him’ even though he’s told you he isn’t interested? Congratulations! You’re practically a rapist!”
Alison Prato’s SLEEPER HIT talks about the new best-selling children’s book, Go the Fuck to Sleep.
“Fox 2000 is fast-tracking a live-action, feature-length Go the F to Sleep film.”
Yeah, I can see that being stretched out to 90+ minutes.
(rolls eyes back, has seizure)
There’s a picture on page 46 of John Leguizamo as the official global ambassador of the Puerto Rican Day Parade.
Fun Fact: He was born in Colombia to Colombian parents.
And that’s Sunday.
More to come…
On November 9, 2010, Mayor Bloomberg appointed Cathie Black to the position of Schools Chancellor.
On April 4, 2011, Deputy Chancellor Santiago Taveras became the third top official to resign since Black’s appointment.
On April 6, 2011, Deputy Chancellor John White resigned.
On April 7, 2011, Cathie Black was asked to resign (and did).
Black (who is White) will be replaced by Dennis Walcott (who is Black).
It’s a $7B battle of the budge on page 6 (not to be confused with Page Six, which is on pages 12, 13 and 14 today) explains — with the help of a handy chart — what Democrats want and what Republicans want.
The Dems want $33,000,000,000 in SPENDING CUTS, but Republicans want $40,000,000,000 (Wasn’t it $61,000,000,000? When did that amount reduce by 21 billion dollars?). Also, the Democrats want to protect the funds headed to PLANNED PARENTHOOD. But the GOP wants to “Give states discretion on how to use federal funds, which could allow anti-abortion governors to block funding.” Which is a fancy (if partially fraudulent) way of saying they want to defund Planned Parenthood.
As I write this, there is still no verdict. But mark my words: If the Democrats give in, I will… well, I’ll still vote for them. But I will loathe doing it.
I guess the Trump International Hotel in Columbus Circle has lower standards than the Trump Soho.
Charlie Sheen has booked 12 rooms there through Sunday.
In a related story, “Late yesterday, there were still about 1,400 tickets left for Sheen’s Radio City shows, ranging from $33 to $40.”
I have never been happier to not have a ticket to something.
Pittsburgh Steeler Ben Roethlisberger is getting married!
He’s registered at Crate & Barrel and as a sex offender.
“Lana Rosa” is out of her coma (her actual name is Lana Rosas). For clarity’s sake, here’s the news with the name of the article’s subject corrected.
“Lana Rosas, 25, remains hospitalized and will need ‘months and months’ of rehabilitation.”
Let’s hope she wakes up in time to put Oscar Fuller away for a loooooong time.
“[LeBron James' mother, Gloria James, 42] was arrested after she slapped a parking attendant so hard, she fell delivering the blow, cops said.”
I keep trying to picture this in my mind. I never quite get it, but I think I have a great idea for a Wii game…
[insert photo of the guy who bought the first iPad 2 at the Apple Store standing before the cheering crowd outside and holding his purchase over his head, except what he's holding is longer the iPad 2 -- it's LeBron James' Mother's Parking Attendant Takedown for the Wii.]
“Donald Trump has hired a team of detectives and dispatched them to Hawaii to prove one thing — that Barack Obama wasn’t born in the United States and, therefore, is ineligible to be president. ‘I have people that actually are studying it, and they cannot believe what they’re finding,’ Trump said yesterday on NBC’s Today show.”
Me neither.
“Archeologists have unearthed the skeleton of what they believe is the first known caveman, who was buried in what is now the Czech Republic 5,000 years ago.”
Double-check my numbers, but I think that means that, according to the Catholic Church, homosexuality is now officially older than the planet.
Got a dollar for my thoughts? is Cindy Adams’ full-column rant about how things were cheaper when she was younger. “We bought Manhattan for $24. Today it’s twice that much to park for an hour.”
I knew she was old, but I had no idea she was that old. Actually… she looks great for her age.
Law nails chokers on page 18 begins:
“cm+WEB:webtitle: State’s new domestic-dispute law is no choke to nearly 2,000 men charged }strap: }column: }logo: }section: AB ]neighborhood: } -web”
Keep up the phenomenal work, guys.
“A magnitude-7.4 aftershock rattled Japan last night, knocking out power across a large swath of the northern part of the country nearly a month after the devastating earthquake and tsunami that flattened the northeastern coast.”
Latest estimated death toll for the March 11 earthquake: “some 25,000 people.”
Michael A. Walsh’s Ryan’s ‘Roadmap’: The Moral Message would be hilarious if I wasn’t afraid that immediately after I press the Publish button, I’ll learn that Planned Parenthood has been completely defunded.
Walsh claims that Ryan’s Roadmap for America’s Future has “moral underpinnings” and they aren’t being given enough attention. Here’s Ryan himself: “It’s a moral challenge involving questions of principle and purpose… A government that would solve problems without limit must necessarily have power without limit to do it.” OMG! He wants government to have unlimited power? How can the Tea Party support this?
Walsh complains that immediately after Ryan revealed his terrific panacea, came “a circus parade of sound-bite donkeys, led by Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, each braying that Ryan’s proposals are ‘extreme’ and the cuts ‘draconian’ and that, naturally, the GOP wants to kill the elderly, children, women and minorities.”
If you defund Planned Parenthood, women and children will die. It’s science fact.
B’also? Are you accusing the Democrats of implying that the GOP wants to install death panels? How does your head keep from exploding?
Later, Walsh explains that even though Ryan’s plan isn’t perfect, we should accept it as it is. (Before reading this next quote of Walsh’s, try to remember my point from a few days ago in defending Leroy Comrie’s attempt to get McDonald’s to help fight childhood obesity.) “But the perfect should never be the enemy of the good, especially when the system is failing the country so signally.”
So… you agree with Comrie then?
Bill O’Reilly’s Glenn Beck Unleashed is more homoerotic than a three-dollar bill being rubbed against two men having sex with each other.
“My pal Glenn Beck is leaving his program on Fox News Channel this summer, causing great joy among some uber-liberals who object to free speech, as well as anything Beck.” Actually, I think this appeals to all of the uber-liberals who object to free speech, as well as anything Beck. All none of them.
I love free speech — I want you to have your say especially if we disagree. Because your words represent your ideas and I need to know exactly what you think so that I can either learn new things or help you understand why you are (factually) wrong. Glenn Beck has been lying to the American public for years and making lots and lots and lots of money in the process (for himself and his sponsors — the company that will buy all of the gold you need to sell as soon as possible, the people who will sell you all the seeds you’ll need when the revolution starts in the coming weeks, etc.).
What Beck does is yell fire in a crowded theater (but he prefaces it by muttering under his breath, “my favorite band is Earth, Wind and”). But let’s move on.
“When you get past all the rubbish, Beck is really Norm, the guy from Cheers. He sits on a symbolic bar stool and vents.” Which makes O’Reilly Cliff Clavin! And Megyn Kelly is Carla! And Bret Baier is Sam! And Greta Van Susteren is Carla! And Mike Huckabee is Coach! And Gretchen Carlson is Carla! And Sean Hannity is Frasier!
That was fun.
Crude oil closed at $110.30/barrel yesterday.
MOVIE REVIEWS!
Kyle Smith gives one and a half stars to Arthur (“Russell Brand rapidly descends the rungs of the comedy ladder from ‘unfunny’ to ‘irritating’ to ‘vulgar’ to the bottom one — ‘Andy Dick.’”), two stars to Hanna (“Hanna doesn’t go wrong immediately. It takes at least 2 ½ minutes.”), one star to Ceremony (“an unbearably precious slice of stale imitation Wes Anderson”), two stars to Henry’s Crime (“the romance between the two leads seems as contrived as everything else”), and one and a half stars to Meeting Spencer (“meager comedy”).
Lou Lumenick gives two stars to Your Highness (“Weed like a film less half-baked”), one and a half stars to Soul Surfer (“Shamelessly pandering to the elusive Christian family audience, a committee of 18 producers and seven writers has removed nearly every trace of grit from this airbrushed portrait.”), three stars to Born to Be Wild 3D (“charming nature documentary”) and two and a half stars to Meet Monica Velour (“low-key comedy”).
V.A. Musetto is starting to freak me out. He gives three and a half stars to Meek’s Cutoff (mild violence), two stars to The Elephant in the Living Room (scary snakes) and only one star to To Die Like A Man (sex, nudity). I hope he’s feeling OK. B’also, The Elephant in the Living Room is unrated, hence the “scary snakes” warning.
The Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays are tied for worst record in baseball with 0-6.
The Red Sox play the Yankees today. I hope the Yankees win!
[SPOILER: They didn't.]
Once again the color-coded TV listings have been printed in black and white. So I’m not sure if there’s a new episode of The Ricky Gervais Show on tonight.
I am sure, however, of what American Movie Classics is airing at 8:00 tonight: The Hills Have Eyes II (2007). That’s right. Not the original (arguably a classic) or the remake of the original (not arguably not a classic) or the original sequel (meh), but the uninspired sequel to the remake (which isn’t a remake of its namesake).
That is followed by a 10:00 p.m. showing of… The Hills Have Eyes II (2007). And a 12:00 a.m. showing of Deep Blue Sea and a 2:30 a.m. screening of Dracula 2000.
American. Movie. Classics.
It’s 10:15 p.m. right now. There is still no budget agreement in Washington.
But I read online (from The Hill) that the rules of the House and Senate, say that the shutdown can be triggered if just one person doesn’t agree to a compromise.
“With little more than 2 hours before the midnight deadline, House and Senate leaders will need to pass some type of funding measure by unanimous consent to avert a shutdown. If one legislator balks, the government will shutter.”
Hoo-boy.
I also got another reason to despise Jon Kyl.
Try to have a great weekend, America.
ABOUT
I read the New York Post so you don't have to.
RECENT POSTS
RECENT COMMENTS
- jed on This Would Make A Great Movie.
- No face on This Would Make A Great Movie.
- ScottF on More Required Reading.
- jed on More Required Reading.
- Miss Mason on More Required Reading.
Clicky here…
This month’s stats
3,809 | Unique Visitors |
Archives
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
| S | M | T | W | T | F | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| « Jan | ||||||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | |||
| 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
| 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | |||